Reverence is Love

Well, I was inspired by a line from a primary song. It said "reverence is love". (It seems I listen to primary songs all day, everyday.)

I was reading in Ephesians and my thought was solidified when I read the last verse in chapter 5.

Wives are counseled to reverence their husbands. Well, reverence is love but I like the word. It implies something more. To me when I think of reverence, I don't think sarcastic, critical or rude belong in the same attitude. I think of respect, admiration, and appreciation.

I remembered a talk from by President Hinckley that goes along with this.

"I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and problems of life, and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we concentrate on the positive. I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we halt the sounds of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course of action."

For me it is good to keep these things in mind, it helps my attitude. So, food for thought.

"An apple a day"

Here is a link to a talk on marriage by Elder Nelson if you'd like to watch it together.

http://lds.org/conference/file/0,17193,4-602-2-13-2,00.asx

The talk was given in May of 2006. If you'd like to read it you can find it here.

http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-602-13,00.html

Date Ideas

http://utahmarriage.org/htm/dating/fun-dating-ideas

Here's two I liked: "watch early morning cartoons and make breakfast together" or "go on a winter picnic."

I thought some of these ideas were cute. Hopefully you will get some good ideas from here too.

Even if you can't get out of the house all the time, it is still nice to have a fun date to look forward to.

Happy Friday!

"An apple a day"

If you are staying home tonight and not planning on doing anything out of the ordinary...

invite them to a friendly competition game like speed (with cards) or slap jack. Whoever wins gets a back or foot rub! Have fun!

Note: decide the prize before you start playing.

"An apple a day"

Curl up to a good movie. Enjoy a nice cuddle session.

"An apple a day"

Take a dry erase marker to the bathroom mirror. Write a love note!

"An apple a day"

How would you like some of these ideas on the side of this blog? Are these ideas helpful daily? What would you like to see different. There isn't much on here to "comment" on and so I am not sure how helpful these ideas are. I'll take a break for a few days and see what everyone says. You can email me too if you don't want to comment. zachandbecca@gmail.com

thanks!

"An apple a day"

Tonight when you kneel to pray with your spouse, take an extra minute and thank the Lord for them.

In the blink of an eye

2009, suffice it to say, it was a busy year for our family.

We had a baby.

Our little girl took ADD medicine and spent a few days in the hospital "recovering" and we were scared out of our minds!

Zach had pneumonia and it wasn't just any pneumonia, it was bacterial and it could have been deadly...like the next day he could have died if we hadn't gone into the ER when we did.

I think about that experience probably not often enough. He was not sick or coughing before, he just suddenly came down with a fever. A fever of 104 +. In June he had a similar thing happen, he went to the ER and they sent him home, no tests, nothing. We were tempted to stay home this time. If we had, pneumonia would have gotten into his blood and there would have been no stopping it.

Everyday matters. If I always loved him and my kids like there was no tomorrow, we would be a lot happier. The house might not be as clean, but you know.

I guess I've just been thinking a lot about life and how really, you just never know. I am grateful (for lack of a better word) that Zach is still a part of my life. Gosh, I hate to think of losing him.

Here's a quote from a marque that came to mind. "Love is friendship set to music". It hit the spot for me. When Zach and I started dating it was just sweet and is still.

20 Questions

After the kids are in bed, play 20 questions. Make a treat and ask some stirring questions and some not so stirring. Come up with some questions before hand.

I did this the other night and we had a good time.

Some questions I asked were:

"whats your favorite food?" (you never know, it could change)

"least favorite?"

"your hero?"

"something you'd like to see changed?"

"someone you'd like to meet and spend time with?"

"something you find totally funny?"

"something you wish you'd learned when you were younger?"

Have fun, get to know your spouse better. This probably took us about 15, 20 minutes. (not including making a shake)

"An apple a day"

Call only to say "I love you" during the day.

Husbands Marriage Advice...

You shouldn't ever throw snow at your wife while in a nice, warm, relaxing, soothing bath - She may NEVER forgive you. Next time, just dump a glass of cold water over the shower curtain - then she can't see you :) That's a better idea - it's quickly replaced with warm water anyway.

From - Zach (The husband who would never do such a thing)

"An apple a day"

Count how many months you've been married and celebrate the "monthly anniversary" - like 68 months or whatever it be. Have a contest to see who is the first to remember and tell the other first. Make it a surprise the first time you do it and have some "chilled" apple cider from the freezer after the kids are in bed.

should go without saying...

but just in case.

When your wife is recovering from the flu and is taking a relaxing bath.

Don't throw snow at her.

I know none of you husbands would ever do that.

I know mine never would.

but just in case. :)

"An apple a day"

think on the days before you were married. reenact a favorite memory.

"An apple a day"

Be True

A little thought to go along with this comes from the story of Adam and Eve.

I heard this in a talk by S. Michael Wilcox.

Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden. Stay naked in your marriage. (oh come on, get your mind out of the gutter!) :) Just don't try and hide anything from each other.

If there is something you need or want to tell your spouse, today would be a good day.

Be honest, be true!

"An apple a day"

Surprise your spouse with something they love! Forget about what you want and do something just for them!ie. favorite movie, food, game, etc.

"An apple a day"

Turn on "your song" or another sweet song and dance...in front of the kids!

"An apple a day"

Be Clean

Shower. Comb your hair. Put on lipstick. Brush your teeth before your spouse comes home or before you go home. If you can't brush, then pop in a mint.

How refreshing! :)

"An apple a day"

Be Smart

Check out a book or Google something that interests you. Talk to your spouse about it. Better yet, check out a book or Google something that interests your spouse.

If you can't think of anything then read about some current events and discuss that.

What are some other ways "Be Smart" can be applied in your marriage? Do share.

"An apple a day"

Well, it is Sunday. If you have some down time hop on lds.org and read a talk about marriage. There some super good ones on there.

"An apple a day"

Apply that counsel from President Hinckley.

Be Grateful.

Make it a point to only express gratitude to your spouse and focus on the good things today. Don't worry about the things that might usually bother you. (all that usually does is make you both upset anyway)

The Six B's

Oh about ten years ago President Hinckley gave a talk from the conference center. He gave us six B's to live by.
I find them quite applicable to marriage.

Be Grateful
Be Smart
Be Clean
Be True
Be Humble
Be Prayerful

Quite applicable, quite.

"An apple a day"

Make time to talk. If this is something new then just ask if you can make a treat after the kids are in bed and then visit while eating it.

"An apple a day"

Extend your date night invitation in a different way- even if it's a phone call to the office with an invitation to movie or games at home with the bonus of their favorite treat.

"An apple a day"

Try to outdo your spouse in kindness.

Great marriages...

Stephen R. Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families points out that "Great marriages produce great parents".

At this time in my life I feel like my main focus should be our children. We have three and they keep me busy! My thoughts are often consumed by how I can help them, teach them, love them, encourage them etc. better. Not to mention the thoughts of "did you really just flush TWO TOOTHBRUSHES down the TOILET?" and "since when are crayons food?"!

I see the point though, if I focus on my marriage, I will be a better mother.

Something to think about.

"An apple a day"

Stick a sweet note inside their purse or wallet

"An apple a day"

Kiss for ten seconds when your spouse comes home.

"An apple a day will keep the doctor away"

Every day I will post an idea of something you can do for your spouse that day....and if I don't you can find one on top of the blog. :)

In hopes that a kind deed a day will keep the marriage therapist away. :)

The inspiration

Have you ever heard a heart wrenching story about someone you know?

Felt helpless?

Wanted to do something and just didn't know what to do?

Well, that was me, I heard such a sad story about some couples I know that split up. (long story short). I was so upset by it!

I wanted to do something to help others in hopes the same thing wouldn't happen to them...or me.

I heard this story and then a few minutes later my 6 month old woke up. I was feeding him and reading the Book of Mormon in Alma. I had been studying Alma 32 and with marriage on my mind I realized that the last part of this chapter(starting in verse 28) is pretty darn good counsel on how to have a good marriage. Next time you read that chapter, think about it.

Well, the gist was that I know my marriage is like the "good seed". I have planted it and nourished it and have seen the fruit. I need to maintain that level of nourishment or even increase it. I will see fruit that is "most precious and sweet above all that is sweet" and I will be able to "feast until I am filled".
Without rambling I will just say that this was the inspiration for this blog. It is my hope to strengthen my marriage by focusing on things I can do to love and serve Zach better. I am doing this blog as much for my marriage as I am for those that read this blog.

There is the inspiration.