Sinks......etc.

Yesterday I was at home with the kids, and I was not expecting Becca to be home until sometime after the kids were in bed (she left at 7:15 AM by the way). So, needless to say - I am not absolutely amazing at doing everything she normally does in the course of a day and it showed. Other than the fact that the kids were all nicely tucked in their beds and asleep, that was about the only clean thing in the house. So I ended up cleaning one thing, the kitchen sink - which meant loading the dishwasher too. I wasn't going for brownie points or something like that, I just wanted her to know that I was in "TOTAL CONTROL" and that at least one thing would be clean when she made it home after being gone all day.

If I was to say clean the sink - I could be totally wrong for what your wife loves to have clean. So think of something simple and go for it - even if it is simply scrubbing the kitchen sink, doing that something for your apple of the day will make you feel better no matter if they notice or not. Here's a link if you need some help on cleaning sinks.

She noticed by the way, it was really hard not to......this absolutely, brilliantly shining white sink with an overhead light on it and all the other parts of the house were dark. (Good thing she didn't break a leg on the way into the kitchen - I cleared a path).

Get a sitter!

I've mentioned the book "Marriage Fitness" by Mort Fertel, I have really liked this book. I read recently some suggestions for date night. He suggested being religious about it. If you'd like to go out weekly, once a month or twice a month, hire a babysitter. Don't call them every week, just have them booked for how often you'd like to go out. They just come, no extra effort to find one at the last minute!

Now, I know we only pay a babysitter once in a while because we have family close and they love our kids. So whoever watches them, friends, family or girls in your neighborhood-just talk to them and have them put it on their calendar for the "third Friday" every month. It is pretty hard to find an excuse not to go out when you know the babysitter is on their way!

You are special...

A little background to this post...for those of you who haven't read Five Love Languages that I talked about in a previous post. Zach is a words of affirmation person.

So, on Sunday Zach and I were driving to dinner at his parents house and were talking. He asked me to tell him some things that I see that he does well. Until we got to his parents house I was talking about him and all the good I see him doing. When we were a few houses away he interrupted me and said, "wow, I need to talk to you more often!". I found his comment surprising actually because I am a pretty complimentary person. It just goes to show we can't tell our spouses enough how much we appreciate them and all they do. They need to know! We don't want them wondering if they are wonderful! They should know!

The apple for the day is: Make a special effort to express gratitude today for your spouse!

Disclaimer: Now I know that sometimes we get frustrated with our spouses. I don't want you to think that I don't. But this is the thing, we love them right? When we are frustrated, the best way out is to look at the positive and dwell on that. I don't want you to be misled, I don't think I'm perfect, I am trying like the rest of you. That is why I have this blog! :)...because it helps me keep trying!

Light a Candle!

I love Birthdays and thought it would be fun if we declared an Un-Birthday for our Spouse! :)

Put a candle in their dinner or desert! Make them a card and tell them how glad you are that they were born and why!

missed it :)

Yeah, so I missed today...I hope you gave your spouse a kiss today and told them that you loved them!

That is my kind of apple! :)

Treat it differently!

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. … It becomes special because you have made it so."

I love this talk by F. Burton Howard about marriage and I know the principle is true. Good talk! Have a great day!

Aw, say it!

The apple for the day is:

Tell them you love them! Tell them one reason why. Tell them over dinner, tell them at the end of the day, tell them in a note. Just tell them!

Sock it!

The apple for the day is:

Leave a note and a treat in their sock drawer!

Gotta love socks! :)

Project date night

If you can't make it out Friday or Saturday for a date then declare it "project date night". Discuss some things you've wanted to get done and then decide on a project that you can do together in a few hours. Don't involve the kids...just you two.

Maybe before you start your project, mix up some brownies and throw them in and then when you finish your project you can have brownies and ice cream!

Celebrate it!

It's okay, I'll say it. Zach isn't perfect. But gosh, he is the best husband I could have ever asked for! Now, Zach loves basketball. March is a good month for him because of the NCAA playoffs.

I happened to have my own game of basketball- a region game the very night some NCAA games were on that well, he really wanted to watch.

Not only did Zach come to my game, he brought the kids and the camera! I fell in love again. :)

He chose me. I felt important. Quite honestly, I was super impressed he brought the camera!

Okay it is hard for me to not be too general here. We all have our different situations and challenges. I shared this story because I think it brings to light something that I can work on.

When I'm reading a really addictive book I can do better at putting it down to talk to him for a while or do something he wants to do. I think we all know when something is important to our spouse.

The apple for the day is: Do it! Has your spouse been asking for a date, just you and them? Cake? a game of scrabble? They haven't asked for anything? Okay, make something up. What would your spouse love? Do it! I think I'll be making some strawberry shortcake! Zach loves it with yellow cake.

"Lovely Evening"

The apple for the day is:

Tonight after the kids are in bed, take a walk. Even if it is up to the corner. Hold hands and have a nice stroll!

Romance to me?

A month or so ago, Zach picked up a book at Costco called An Eight-Cow Woman Deserves an Eight-Cow Man. It was written by Tracy Lyn Cutler. There is more information about this on their website. http://www.eightcow.com/

There is a chapter about Romance. There were quite a few things I liked in this chapter and one specific thing is this.

"Here is a list of some of my favorite acts of romance:

*Romance is my own pet name, meant for me and no one else.

*Romance is a foot rub without expecting one back.

*Romance is a love note in grease pencil on my mirror.

*Romance is finding my favorite candy under my pillow.

*Romance is our own date, just you and me, a table set for only two.

*Romance is seeing you stand on the porch waving good-bye until my taillights have faded.

*Romance is sitting next to me in church, holding my hand, with our children on either side of us.

*Romance is a midnight kiss on New Year's Eve and every night after that."

I just loved reading this! I thought, "gosh, she is probably an easy person to love because she knows what she loves!"

The apple for the day is: make your own "Romance to me" list! Have your spouse do it too! Don't make it too long though! What is one thing on your list? SHARE! :)

Everyday is Special!

I love President Monson! This talk was given back in 2003 and I thought it was wonderful! It will be worth your time to read it!

Here is part of it that I know I hope to remember!

"I recently read the account of a man who, just after the passing of his wife, opened her dresser drawer and found there an item of clothing she had purchased when they visited the eastern part of the United States nine years earlier. She had not worn it but was saving it for a special occasion. Now, of course, that occasion would never come.

In relating the experience to a friend, the husband said, “Don’t save something only for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion.”

That friend later said those words changed her life. They helped her to cease putting off the things most important to her. Said she: “Now I spend more time with my family. I use crystal glasses every day. I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket if I feel like it. The words ‘someday’ and ‘one day’ are fading from my vocabulary. Now I take the time to call my relatives and closest friends. I’ve called old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I tell my family members how much I love them. I try not to delay or postpone anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. And each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day. Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.”"

Tax return!

Lets face it your spouse has been paying you taxes all year! There are little things that they do that deserve a reward!

Give them a tax return! If they are a fan of treats then make their favorite. Think about it for a minute. What would win them over? Back rub? bubble bath? an hour or two alone?

Make them a card and put a homemade check inside. Have fun! I LOVE tax returns!

After I posted this I got to thinking about the tax return idea and decided I'd post what I had in mind. I'm not super crafty but this is what I came up with! Zach loved it! I decided I would make one quarterly!

Start Building AGAIN!

I believe I was trying to clean or put away groceries the other day while two of my children were playing in the other room. All of the sudden I thought one of them was going to die! They were screaming their face off!

What happened?

Well, his tower was knocked over of course!

After consoling him for a minute and telling her it wasn't nice to knock down others towers. I said something that I probably needed to hear more than he did.

"Sometimes we just have to take a deep breath and then start building again".

Now, my baby is a picky eater and often throws his food and sippy and really anything he can reach. My two year old is in the process of pooping and peeing all over my house instead of in the toilet and then getting into everything she shouldn't. My five year old is testing me in every other aspect. Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole!

As soon as I said this, I really felt the Spirit confirm it to my heart that this is exactly what I need to do. Whenever any of the above and all the other unexpected things happen; I just need to take a deep breath and start building again.

Building is such a productive word! You get much better results that way too!

Now if you don't have kids or if you'd like to relate this to marriage. Here you go!

The apple for the day: Only build your spouse up with words today. If something MUST be said...say it tomorrow! Take a deep breath!

Didn't date much?

Last week Zach and I talked about what we enjoyed doing when we were dating and well, we mostly talked and made out! :) That and we didn't date long. We went from dating to married in 6 months!

We enjoyed going to Wingers and we played basketball at the Roy Rec Center, made smoothies, made pizza and watched movies. Other times we went to the library to study or worked on our art projects.

We didn't go on too many official dates. I don't think our situation is too uncommon. But Zach and I both went on dates in High School.

Why not recreate one of your favorite H.S. dates with your spouse!? Come on, pick one! Do it this weekend!

There is your apple of the day!

Hello, I did this for you!

Have you ever done something for your spouse and been bummed they didn't notice? I don't want you to think that Zach is the only one guilty of this, I have done it too!

Well, the apple for the day is: do something nice for your spouse and then leave a note that says something like this:

"I did this for you and all the while I thought of the many ways you unselfishly serve me and our family everyday! Thanks for all you do! I love you!"

OR

"I cleaned the toilet and the whole time I thought of you!" :) :) LOL!

advice from the Albanian!

I have a little brother Matt who is serving his mission in Albania. I asked him about the challenges they face there.

"Probably the biggest challenges for marriages here in Albania is two things that I can think of.

1: The lack of common goals with their marriage, children, family (in this life and the next) it seems like people like a variety of religions here and don't feel its best to be unified as a family but rather to have two different religions in the family and let the kids decide which one they want. That also means scattered goals and lack of unification.

2: The lack of time spent with one's spouse and family. In this culture a couple will own a store and one spouse will work 12 hours while the other rests and the other spouse works the other 12 hours. Hence, practically zero time to spend with both of them and the kids. Practically zero time to develop relationships and memories with their family as a whole. It hasn't been since I've been on my mission until I have realized that the center to the Plan of Salvation and to us being happy forever is independently dependant on a forever family for everyone"

The apple for the day is: Be grateful. Write in your journal, say a prayer of gratitude, write your spouse a note or talk to your spouse about the things you are grateful for in your lives. All of us have our different challenges but lets express gratitude for the blessings we have!

Alright, where is it?!

Where's the money!? This is an aspect of marriage that can be a touchy subject but shouldn't be overlooked! I would like to know some things that you do in regards to finances. Who is primarily responsible to pay the bills? Do you discuss finances regularly? Do you have a budget? How do you keep track of your expenses?

I found this video and thought it gave some good counsel from Elder Hales for a place to start in dealing with finances.

The apple for the day is: watch this video and then discuss it! Don't point fingers, just talk about the video and things you would like to apply.

Finances are an easy thing to push aside and not talk about sometimes but it is also crucial that we pay attention and be in control of them too. I am most definitely speaking from personal experience. Work together to take control of them if you haven't already!

The Tongue of Angels

When I got to thinking about a good talk I could post for this week, THIS talk by Elder Holland came to my mind. I started reading it and lets just say...it was a good reminder for me! ...mostly as a mom but as a wife too. I do need to consider carefully the words that I say and how I say them!

If only I could see this picture in my mind when she has unraveled all the dental floss again, flushed a car down the toilet or when he is talking back. I see this picture and remember that what I am blessed with is a piece of Heaven in my home! They are learning how to speak from me! They are learning how to love from me! Oh no, I'm not overwhelmed! :)

just give in!

So last night we went to a friends house for cards again. We always have such a great time with them! Well, at the end of the night (12:30 AM) we were talking about next month when it will be at our house. Zach and I had talked about an idea to change things up a little and so I suggested it. When I said it, he looked at me and said "what?", just like he had never heard it before! I was so embarrassed and mad at him for not remembering our conversation. I got mad in front of everyone and felt even more dumb. (he didn't think I was really that upset so I must not have relayed how really stupid I felt) Then like ten minutes later he says "oh, yeah, I do remember that". I didn't even acknowledge his comment because I was so bugged.

What a rotten way to end a super fun night!

Well, we went home and I was bothered, we brushed our teeth and readied for bed and he said he was sorry. We talked about it for a minute, I said I was sorry too, but I still didn't feel much better.

We said our prayers and even after him saying "thanks" to Heavenly Father for such a great wife I still didn't feel much better.

Do you know what won me over? We got into bed and then he put his arm up on the pillow and said "can I hold you?". I felt so much better! I guess it was third times the charm or something!

I guess the choice just comes down to being sweet or stubborn. I think you feel better about yourself when you're sweet....and your spouse feels like the luckiest!

The apple for the day is: just give in! choose to forgive instead of feel lousy because of the other option! :)

"Happiness runs..."

"Happiness runs in a circular motion, life is a just a little boat upon the sea.

Everybody is a part of everything anyway.

You can be happy if you let yourself be" This is a camp song. Just popped into my head and I liked it. :)

Choose to be happy today. Doesn't matter what happened, love your spouse, hold them close and enjoy being together. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. :)

think about it!

Okay in that Marriage Fitness book I told you about previously, we've been reading a chapter on dating and why it is so necessary. I found this paragraph interesting:

"I know a couple who were avid tennis players. They enjoyed tennis together throughout their courtship. Two years after they married, their marriage was in trouble. When was the last time they played tennis together? About two years ago. Is tennis only for dating?"

The apple for the day is: ask your spouse to think with you for a minute about things you did when you were dating. What did you enjoy doing together? Set it up, do it for date night!

What did you enjoy doing together when you were dating?

First thing

I heard somewhere that your day or evening is shaped largely by what happens in the first five minutes. Watch what you say and do in the morning and when your spouse first comes home. Do you pay attention to your spouse? Are you glad to see them?

The apple for the day is: Keep your comments positive, hug, kiss, smile and express gratitude!...and anything else you can think of! :)

The same is true in our interactions with our children! It makes a big difference in the day when we are sweet and happy with our kids in the morning....and when we aren't!

dance to the music!

The apple for the day is: turn on some sweet music to dance to when you see your spouse come home tonight. Have it on before they come in the house if you can. Dance for a minute before you do anything else!

I'm listening!

I loved General Conference! There were so many talks I loved! When I came to do some blogging tonight I was thinking about Elder Bednar's talk.

His talk was specifically about how we can watch for Spiritual warning signs in our children. I appreciated the counsel and also found it applicable for marriage. I thought about how important it is to pay attention to our spouses needs as well. When in conversation about anything Spiritual or otherwise, we should listen for ways they might be struggling or need extra support in.

One way for these types of conversations to come about is during or after your companion scripture study talk about how it applies. Or before your scripture study talk about something you noticed in your personal study or that you thought about during the day.

The apple for the day is: try this. Listen to your spouse when they are talking. Listen, to hear what they are saying don't just listen thinking of how you will respond.

What insights did you find about marriage from Conference? What was your favorite talk?

my fav!

One thing Zach and I associate Conference with is caramel popcorn! Today, make a treat you both enjoy. Make it together if you can!

Happy Easter!!

3 cheers for...

GENERAL CONFERENCE!!! Hip, hip, hooray!

The Apple of the day is: listen to Conference for counsel on marriage!

Man, I love Conference! Enjoy!

Egg-cellent!!!

Oh come on! It is Easter time, tell your spouse in as many ways as you can today why they are so egg-cellent! There is your apple for the day! :)

just bummed

I really am sorry to post this. Becca is bummed out because no one makes comments on this blog. She doesn't want to do it anymore. I'll see if I can get her to change her mind. She is just bummed right now.

For now, make up your own "Apple of the day"