concerned at home?

THIS talk by Elder Bednar was quoted quite a bit in sacrament meeting today and quite frankly, I like it. :)

What did I like, you ask?

"We can begin to become more diligent and concerned at home by telling the people we love that we love them. Such expressions do not need to be flowery or lengthy. We simply should sincerely and frequently express love.

Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you took your eternal companion in your arms and said, “I love you”? Parents, when was the last time you sincerely expressed love to your children? Children, when was the last time you told your parents that you love them?

We should remember that saying “I love you” is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love."

to name just a few. :)

Once upon a time...

So everyone has their own story and I would like to hear yours...well, at least in part. :)

1.was it love at first sight?

2.what was your first date?

3.when was your first kiss?

4.how long have you been married?

5.were you scared to get married?

6.did you help pick out your ring?

7.how many times have you moved?

8.kids?

9.favorite trip taken?

10.dream trip?

1. yes. for me anyway. Zach took a little patience on my part. :)

2. basketball, homemade pizza, smoothies and Frequency (the moveie).

3. second date. held hands and kissed the same night!

4. 6 years!

5. i was scared to get engaged but once i got over that...i was THRILLED to get married!

6. nope, Zach picked it out all by himself. :) i was quite impressed.

7. two. once into our first house and then to this one.

8. yes, three and probably more sometime...later. :)

9. i couldn't name them all but these come to mind. Oregon (honeymoon), California, Jackson Hole, Arizona, Ireland, Hawaii.

10. 10 day river rafting or back packing trip, hiking or horse back. Doesn't that sound fun?!

um, a date huh.

If you haven't already noticed, I post some sort of date idea every Thursday. Well, it is Thursday and I don't really have anything clever. It is Halloween weekend. You probably have plans.

What do you like to do for Halloween?

If you don't have plans and you are staying home. Make some soup. Talk about your favorite Halloween traditions and tell stories.

Conversation starters:

*favorite Halloween costume?

*who took you trick-or-treating when you were little?

*when did you stop going trick-or-treating?

*did you ever get lost?

*what did you do with your candy when you got home?

Advice from JFK :)

"Don't ask what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country!"

How about we change a few words and apply them to marriage. :)

"Don't ask what your spouse can do for you, but ask what you can do for your spouse!"

Love it, love it!!! Thanks John! :)

AND, enjoy your apple! Don't just read this and smile. Really, ask yourself!

it happens.

The apple for the day is: say sorry. kiss and makeup.

If you don't have anything to apologize for then just kiss and make out. :)

Boo!

In THIS post I referred to a Boo you can start in your neighborhood.

How about Booing your spouse!

If you need a picture, try THIS one. :) I think it's funny.

Now since you are Booing your spouse you can't exactly copy the poem that you would give your neighbor so I will take a swing at it for you. :)

BOO!

You are so cool and we live in the same house!

I am so glad I am your spooky spouse!

Giving you this Boo was no easy thing

Sneaking around without being seen.

I made you this treat while you were gone

Out hunting for deer when you only saw fawns

Please do not let the fun end here!

I love treats and I let you hunt deer!

Did I mention you're cool

And that you make this girl drool?

Happy Halloween!

Oh my! I'm too tired to come up with something else!

I'd love to hear what you come up with!

Never.

I didn't make it to the Relief Society meeting this time and I was seriously bummed. It was my lack of planning that didn't get me there too. That was the real bummer.

Tonight I read THIS talk, Charity Never Faileth by President Monson and it made me cry. I love that man! The talk isn't long but here are a few quotes from it.

"I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.

Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.

Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out."

I have been thinking about charity lately and that is probably why this talk hit my like it did. If I can have charity as a mother and a wife, then I won't fail! I don't want to let my family down. More than anything I don't want to let my Heavenly Father down. I want to do all I can. I guess that's why Moroni says "pray with all the energy of your heart that you may be filled with this love".

These quotes I have copied are WONDERFUL marriage advice! I hope we will all do better at loving and not judging in our marriages! I am so grateful for a Prophet!

Spooky Spouse

It is Saturday. You are probably busy like I am doing Halloweenish things. While you are at it, leave some spooky sweet notes about.

Dear Zach,

I love your stinkin' guts

you make me vomit

you are the scum between my toes

Love,

Your Spooky Wife

name that movie :)

some of you are more creative than me. what are some "spooky" notes you can come up with?

spooky, shmooky

I love to scare Zach. We both laugh every time because I am so good at it. Okay, I might laugh a little harder than he does. :)

If you choose to follow my example and scare your spouse for a good laugh, then just make sure to kiss them until they have forgiven you. :)

good times to you.

movie night

THIS is my mom's favorite Halloween movie. It scares me so bad every time I watch it!

Have you seen it? What is yours?

Well, get a scary movie or tell scary stories if you don't have any plans for this weekend...unless of course they scare you too bad...like they do me. :) Then just get another movie, pop some popcorn and cuddle up with your babe! :)

Hope your date is full of fun!

Someone's got to give!

So one quote that comes to mind when I feel totally blessed is by President Eyring.

He says "give more than you take". I love that!

Marriage, we like to think is 50, 50. It really isn't. Sometimes I give a lot and sometimes I really just take a lot. You can analyze situations away, but the truth is there is no use comparing. Life is hard sometimes and you really need each other to do the best you can.

If we lived by President Eyring's advice to give more than we take then I think we would all try a little harder to help our spouse out in any and every way possible.

The Apple for the day: Look around, think about the many things your spouse does for you and what you can do to give back.

Remember, love is like jam, you can't spread it without getting some on yourself!

What does your spouse do for you? Tell us!

"Actions Speak LOUDER than words"

So this one is for the guys - at least that is my intent, but I know that just because I mentioned that, it may well be the topic of conversation from every female that reads this.......to their husband some time over the next 24 hours and.....For that - I'm sorry I just can't apologize guys, hunting season or not.

My "apple for the day" isn't just to do something that will be, or is nice for your wife, it is more. I must first give the credit and the inspiration behind this post to a great friend of ours.

It is along the lines of treating our wives like a princess or even better, like a Daughter of God, because that is who she really is!

Now, don't just read that last sentence and move on to this one - think about it for more than a second. Seriously!!! A Daughter of God - how would you treat her? How does God treat her? Do you think He would want you (and me for that matter) to treat her any different? Whoa - I think that brings a whole new level to what we say and do everyday to our wives.

Is anything we do in a day really that important if we aren't treating our wives the way God would want them to be treated? What is anything in this life worth if our wife isn't by our side or even worse, doesn't want to be? All because of how we treat them.......something to think about.

I know that when I thought of this, I was in for it for 2 reasons - #1 Because I can do WAY better and will now be required to....and #2 because every woman after reading this post will now EXPECT it. So, here is THE "Apple for the day" or maybe even year for that matter.

Treat your wife like a true daughter of God tomorrow or like a Princess, but do it in actions - for they truly do speak louder than words. You know your wife best (or at least you should) - think of the things you can do today and if you need to make a list, but truly make her feel the way she should tomorrow. It probably doesn't even need to be that long - just take some time and think for a few minutes about it.

I know we are all busy, but is that an excuse? I am sure that if you do it, you will not only notice how much she loves it, but that you will be the one who benefits the most because you will have done something that has been needed for a long time. Let me know how it goes and how you feel after you do this "Apple for the day."

CAPTURE IT!

If you'd like to show your spouse you appreciate or love something they do, take a picture of them doing it! Where did I get this idea? I did it on Saturday! He knew I was grateful he took Josh off my hands and still mowed the lawn because I took pictures! I really was grateful!!

If you love it when they do the dishes, take a picture of them doing them!

If you love it when they come home from work, take a picture of them when they come home!

Now if you want to go the EXTRA MILE on appreciation....post the picture on your blog or on Facebook...or both! Go ahead, tell everyone how awesome they are!!!

Can't wait to see your posts!

survival

There are SO MANY talks to choose from for a Sunday post! My goodness! I love it!

With all the hype that has been spurred by President Packer's talk I have done a lot of thinking about where I stand. Without a doubt, I stand with the Prophets!!! I don't care who disagrees and what their arguments are, I will always follow the Prophet. Two talks were given that mentioned THIS TALK by President Benson, titled "Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet"

These quotes are from THIS TALK by Elder Duncan, who also mentioned the 14 Fundamentals.

"This world is full of so many self-help books, so many self-proclaimed experts, so many theorists, educators, and philosophers who have advice and counsel to give on any and all subjects. With technology today, information on a myriad of subjects is available with the click of a keystroke. It is easy to get caught in the trap of looking to the “arm of flesh”⁵ for advice on everything from how to raise children to how to find happiness. While some information has merit, as members of the Church we have access to the source of pure truth, even God Himself. We would do well to search out answers to our problems and questions by investigating what the Lord has revealed through His prophets. With that same technology today, we have at our fingertips access to the words of the prophets on nearly any subject. What has God taught us about marriage and the family through His prophets? What has He taught us about education and provident living through His prophets? What has He taught us about personal happiness and fulfillment through His prophets?...."

"May we have the wisdom to trust in and follow the counsel of the living prophets and apostles. I am a witness of their goodness. I testify that they are called of God. I also testify that there is no safer way to approach life, find answers to our problems, gain peace and happiness in this world, and protect our very salvation than by obeying their words..."

What does following the Prophet have to do with marriage? In my opinion, everything. It is invaluable to me that Zach and I share the same beliefs. I am so grateful that we are both dedicated to living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It is so important that we talk about where we stand on issues. As a couple, as families, we are under the obligation to defend and represent what we know. We can make a huge difference if we understand the issues and the doctrine.

I bring this up because NOW is the time to decide. NOW is the time to ask ourselves where we stand and work to strengthen our faith so when we are asked who we stand with, we will know. :)

frustrated?

frustration is caused by unmet expectations and sometimes they are too high!

we all do it. as a mom, I'll leave the house for the night or a few hours and "expect" it to be cleaner than when I left. does Zach know this? No! so, I get frustrated and he doesn't even know why! :)

The apple for the day is: talk about your expectations for the day! what do you plan to accomplish? anything your spouse wants you to do for them or around the house or yard? find out and talk about it!

not sure what to say?

try these:

"thanks for working so hard!"

"I'm glad you are home. I love it when you are here."

"you are adorable"

"man, I am LUCKY!"

"I just LOVE you!"

The apple for the day is: If you want to say something nice, there is NO REASON to not say it! Be nice to your spouse, flower them with compliments today! Don't let a moment pass you by.

dinner date...

If you don't already have plans you can refer to last weeks post for some festive ideas OR

do a dinner date. Make something cute for dinner or just set the table cute. :)

Eat dinner on the floor on a blanket or at the table by candlelight.

During dinner ask your spouse about a certain time in their life. Get them talking about their mission, college, a certain summer job or trips they took with their friends. Ask them about the details and enjoy letting them relive this time through conversation!

I know I have heard a lot of stories from Zach's mission. I might not have heard all of them though. And besides, it is always fun to hear stories again...especially if they enjoy telling them!

Happy dates to you! mmm. I heart date night. :)

advice for the newlywed...

So I went to a bridal shower last week for a friend. I love those things! So fun!

Everyone there was married...except for her. :) Lets just say we had a good time giving her advice!

The women that were there are super fun and wise too!

Here is some advice that is appropriate to share. :)

*tell your husband what you are thinking...he doesn't know. don't expect him to figure it out...he probably won't. :)

*make everything you do together a date. when you go grocery shopping, make it a date. have fun doing things together.

*make a commitment that if you have challenges in your marriage, to keep them in your marriage. don't go talking to your mom, sisters or friends about your spouse. talk to your spouse! if you are going to say something to anyone about your spouse, make sure it is positive!

*make everyday special with little things you do. put goblets on the table for dinner. put notes under their plate. don't make your spouse responsible for your happiness. serve them and love them.

*don't be afraid of counseling. it can be a real help in a marriage, whether you think you are struggling or not. it helps in making sure you have the same focus for your marriage.

*stay in touch during the day and while they are away traveling. text, call or anything. make sure they know you love them.

*read Becca's apple a day blog! :)

What advice were you given when you were first married? What advice would you give? Tell her! She's going to be reading this blog! :)

I think I'm funny :)

I know it isn't Sunday but I wanted to quote Elder Wirthlin from his talk "Come what may and love it"

"The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable."

No matter what boat you are in, sometimes life can just be hard. Lets try to follow his counsel and laugh a little more huh?

Apple for the day: laugh when you don't feel like it,...until you feel like it. :)

I would love to hear stories of how you accomplish this!!! Seriously!

Hey Steph, remember that time we just laid on the couch and laughed till our stomachs hurt? "hey!"

I know, I know!

I know it's Monday. Sometimes Mondays are just crazy because we are trying to catch up from the weekend....and then some.

The Apple for the day is:

How about having some fun being a flirt with your spouse. Send them cute texts, when they come home give them an extra long kiss and a slap on the bum. :)

Okay, I'm not going to spell it out for you! Act like your are dating again & just have fun!

a grateful heart!

I love President Monson! I know that he is a Prophet of God! I support and sustain him! I will ALWAYS follow the Prophet!

His Sunday morning talk on gratitude touched me and gave me a desire to be more grateful.

We can read, watch and listen to conference now online. I love how quickly they have it available! I should watch conference every month! It makes me want to be so much better!

Well, HERE is the talk for the day....given by the Prophet. He obviously felt this topic was important. I hope we will all listen and be more grateful!...especially for each other in our families. We have been given so much!

Because he said so!

"Who?", you ask. The Prophet. "Said what?"

Oh, he said to be grateful. I loved that talk by the way!

The other day I left the dinner table and ran downstairs to get something from the storage room. I came back and Zach and the kids counted "1, 2, 3, we love you mommy", "thanks for dinner, it's yummy"! I thought this was cute and for the rest of dinner and random times since, the kids will start counting and say some sweet cheer to me, Zach or each other.

What a fun way to show gratitude! If you've got kids, use em'! AND, help them learn to show gratitude too! There is your Apple!

Oh, I went down to the storage room to get another can of beans because I used one can for THIS instead of two. I wanted more beans. :) Thanks for the beans Steph! (I never buy this kind and would never have found this recipe...which I loved. :))

Happy Friday!

brought to you in part by...

The Letter H and the number 10

I can always go for a theme date. Here are a few ideas!

Top 10 Halloween things:

10. Carve a pumpkin or paint one

9. Visit a corn maze

8. Decorate for Halloween

7. Do a Halloween craft

6. Start Boo in your neighborhood

5. Watch a scary movie

4. Go through a haunted house or make one! :)

3. Make mummy dogs or deviled eggs (spooky food)

2. Make a scarecrow for your yard!

1. Costume Party!

What are some of your favorite Halloween traditions?

Something crazy!

How bout doing something crazy together! I don't know, like do p90x together or something!

Yeah, I know, we are CRAZY!

If I were you I would just go for a long walk. That sounds nicer. :)

What do you like to do together?

Someday...

Ever said that word? Someday?

No, lets be like President Kimball and adopt the Nike slogan and "Just do it"!

What have you been meaning to do for your spouse? For your kids? For yourself?

Just do it!

Monday's Moment

Elder Maxwell has said "moments are the molecules of eternity".

It would be inconsistent to think that if we are regularly irritable, ungrateful and unhappy that eternity would be any different.

Write down what you would like eternity to be like and then write about how you can make your moments more that way.

I recognize we aren't expected to be perfect right now but President Monson has said "that without a goal, it is like running with a ball up and down the field and never scoring a touchdown. "

So, at least write down a vision and set some goals. You probably have a lot on your mind since listening to Conference this weekend. I know I do. We are so blessed!!!

what was your favorite talk? i would love to hear!

got questions?

If you've got questions you can get answers!

Write down some questions before Conference, pray about them and be ready to write your answers!

If you can't think of any, try something like:

"what can I do to support my spouse better?"

"how can we change our financial situation?"

"what can I do to strengthen my marriage?"

This isn't just something to try during Conference, try it every time you read your scriptures!

"Ask and ye shall receive"! Enjoy Conference!

"Out in the Light"

Studio 5 has discussed THIS website on their show some and have had quite a response. Statistically pornography is a huge problem. (huge being an understatement)

Just like any temptation we face in this life, we need to be prepared with action we will take when(when, not if) the temptation arises. This website is a wonderful resource! It is such a huge problem, there are many who face it.

Check out this website. We need to talk about this with our spouses and children and get things "out in the light". They have a pledge you can take as a family. Pornography is attacking families, as families we need to be prepared.

There is your apple!