the happiest season of all??

Here we come Christmas! Here we come New Years! Just like that, some of us are scrambling to get everything done and still trying to make it to every Christmas party there ever was! Not to mention, do service projects with our families and do things to incorporate the Spirit of Christ into our homes and really celebrate this Christmas...

then there is the regular stuff. You mean I still have to clean my house and feed my children? Zach still has to go to work and we both still have our callings...:)

Might I suggest an apple? Sit down with your spouse, a piece of paper and a calendar. Talk about expectations for your holidays and prioritize them. Talk about what you can do without and what you can't. Then put it down on the calendar. We did this Sunday and Zach was a little overwhelmed with everything we have going on. I would imagine if we hadn't sat down and discussed it we would have had a word or two about not communicating about the chaos...

Don't forget to talk about a budget if you haven't already!

I hope this is helpful and that this will be your happiest holiday season ever!

one more day...

Alright all you gratitude givers. I hope you have had a good time with your gratitude experiment. I also hope that you have given it a good enough effort and have felt the positive results!

I will admit, I could have done better at being grateful. I did enjoy myself though. I said it on Facebook and I'll say it again.... I think gratitude suits me.:)

I hope that you now have a good idea of the difference being grateful can make. Keep it up!

For those that participated in the gratitude contest and would like to win tickets make a comment or send me an email! If you haven't been to a Tabernacle choir Christmas concert, you are in for a serious treat! Oh and make your comments or send your emails by Dec 1st at midnight!

Oh and sorry I slacked this weekend. I was enjoying family time so much I didn't want to turn on the computer....:)

Happy Thanksgiving!

I honestly hope your day is wonderful!

That you eat what you want to,

and you don't eat what you don't.

AND

That those you are thankful for know it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

catch up!

The Apple for the day is: Go to bed earlier.

This is a hard time of year to do that!...at least for me. I leave too much for this time of year and find it hard to get to bed. Today I will take my own advice!

I will be grateful for sleep. :)

Change.....

Not at all - some of the best marriage advice my wife and I got was from my Grandma "Bam" - she was great!

She said - Don't try and change him or her, neither of you. Love them for who they are and don't change a single thing.

Guess where she got that advice? From her own Father. What a great thought and what great advice!

So today - your apple is to not do anything for them today, just think of who they are and love your wife or husband for being just that - the absolutely amazing, beautiful, loving, caring, faithful, crazy, sexy, intelligent, hard working, fun to be around person that you grew to love in the 1st place. Why would that ever need to change?

some questions are worth answering...

What matters most? You might remember THIS video.

We know what President Monson believes matters most. Have we decided? Take some time to think about it. What is most important to you?

In THIS talk by President Uchtdorf he talks about slowing down and focusing on what is most important....especially if we are experiencing "turbulence" in our lives.

What is turbulence to you? a new baby, a new job, taxes, lost job, lost baby, financial difficulties, family troubles?

If you are...(and we all do at times, it is part of being mortal), then...

"Therefore, it is good advice to slow down a little, steady the course, and focus on the essentials when experiencing adverse conditions."

“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”

The holy scriptures and the spoken word of the living prophets give emphasis to the fundamental principles and doctrines of the gospel.

As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn over and over again the importance of four key relationships: with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves. As we evaluate our own lives with a willing mind, we will see where we have drifted from the more excellent way. The eyes of our understanding will be opened, and we will recognize what needs to be done to purify our heart and refocus our life.

Brothers and sisters, indeed we have great reason to rejoice. If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most."

It is Sunday...maybe you are reading this on Wednesday. There is no better time to refocus than now. We can all use a good refocusing...:) I have never forgotten when Sister Beck referred to "one of those private meetings between her and the Lord". That statement changed my perspective on the relationship I had and the relationship I could have with the Lord. We are His children and He would love to counsel us on the choices we are making in our lives.

Have a good week! :)

good stuff...

I know that gratitude helps me to be happier and makes me easier to be around.

THIS article explained gratitude and the benefits of it very well. I think everyone should take the time to read it and apply some of the things she recommends...

*start a gratitude journal. write in it often

*express gratitude regularly for your spouse...make a habit of it, not just something you do at holiday time. :)

*accept gratitude and anything positive- this is one I tend to have a hard time with. When someone gives me a compliment I tend to brush it off and turn it around and tell them how awesome they are. We need so soak in the good stuff and allow ourselves to feel good! There is nothing wrong with being awesome! :)

Date.....here's an idea

Bowling, but not traditional bowling - it can be different and fun! Ask if you can use the bumpers, or if they just pull out - do that. Here are 10 ideas for bowling that ball down the lane and see who gets the higher score....if you don't get a strike EVERY time, then you have to do the same thing on your 2nd chance for each round.

1. The Pro Bowler Association look a like - do it the best you can, mimicking every thing the Pro's do.

2. Left Handed for those dominant right handers and Right Handed for the dominant lefty's.

FLIRT!!!

3. Two Handed & Front Facing - do it just like our kids do it.

4. Two Handed & Backwards

FLIRT AGAIN!!!

5. Behind the back....just like the guys in the church ball make those incredible passes to each other. Look for and get the lightest ball you can for this one 8lbs. preferably.

6. The SPINNER. Go right up to the line and spin it with a little push (this one takes a while to get to the pins - but it's FUN!!!) If you want to make it go faster, give it the clockwise twist as you LIGHTLY throw it down the lane.

Give your husband or wife a kiss!!!

7. Right Handed, front facing under the right leg.

8. Left Handed, front facing under the left leg.

Flirt More!!!

9. Two Handed Push......lay down on the wood floor, as close to the line as you want and push it down the lane.

10. Kick Ball (not sure if this one is truly allowed) - you can't use your hands, you have to use your foot and give it a kick down the lane. You can sit down and do it to, that might not be as noticeable to the staff at the bowling alley.

Tally up the scores, talk about how much fun that was and then do it again in reverse order or go get an ice cream!

all that other stuff-

I recently read a book that made me think in a different way about gratitude.

Let me say first, I know there is no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect marriage. I know everyone has their faults. Some of us, at different times in our lives and in our marriages, deal with pretty crappy things...

With that said. Have you ever thought about expressing gratitude for all the stuff you don't have to deal with?

This book, specifically made me think about spouse abuse. I found myself gaping when I read the description of this women being hit in the head by her husband. I can not fathom to any degree what that would be like.

With tears in my eyes I told Zach how grateful I was that he didn't hit me, that he took care of me and that he loved and respected me.

Like I said before, I know everyone isn't perfect but think about all the awful stuff you don't have to deal with! Maybe you are dealing with something awful right now, think about something else that is awful that you aren't dealing with and express gratitude for that. :)

"No matter how bad things get, they could always get worse". -Ever After :)

Gratitude for Dinner...

So yesterday I was talking to my best friend since the beginning of time...

She said that during dinner every night they have all been saying something they are grateful for.

She writes it down, puts it in an envelope labeled 2010. She plans to pull it out next year and read the things they wrote!

What a wonderful way to bring the spirit of gratitude to dinner!

Just thought I'd share that idea. Thanks Shauna for sharing it with me... :)

You might try that for an apple!

What have you been doing to be more grateful?

clean house?

I was picking up the other night after my kids were in bed and had the thought..."just because your house is clean doesn't mean your kids are responsible."

Well there was a chastisement! Sometimes it is just easier to do things myself. But just as it says HERE, we all need to learn our duty and then do it.

My job as a mom is to teach my children their duty and then hold them accountable. Easier said than done. :) As a couple we need to divide up the duties and then conquer as well.

What are some ways you do this in your families?

disclaimer: my house is not always clean. :) just had to put that out there ;)

Happy times...

So I came across THIS scripture in Alma: "But behold there never was a ^ahappier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni,"

It occurred to me that Moroni lived in a time of much contention and war.

Huh, well, so do I!

Why were the people so happy?

Chapters 48-50 are interesting to read with this question in mind.

A few things I picked out...

They were prepared to meet their enemies and when they weren't, they fixed the damage. We can anticipate some things and others we can't. But we can AND SHOULD have the faith that as we seek the guidance of the Lord and keep his commandments that we will prosper. We can do our best to be more like Moroni. No matter how good things were, they were always preparing. And it wasn't just Moroni that fortified their cities...they all helped. They listened to his instructions and went to work preparing.

I feel the most discouraged when I am not reading my scriptures (specifically the Book of Mormon) or the conference Ensign. I believe the reason why we have so many war chapters and stories in the scriptures is because they are for our day and we live in a time of physical and spiritual war. Fear is a tactic of our enemy. We can feel safety and even happiness as we listen to the council of our leaders and seek personal revelation as we read the scriptures. In our marriages, we can be happy even when times are hard.

As Elder Maxwell puts it:

"Brothers and sisters, by divine appointment, “these are [our] days” (Hel. 7:9), since “all things must come to pass in their time” (D&C 64:32). Moreover, though we live in a failing world, we have not been sent here to fail."

One more quote and I'll be done!

"We have work to do, you and I, so very much of it. Let us roll up our sleeves and get at it, with a new commitment, putting our trust in the Lord." -President Hinckley

Have a great week!

say it!

The Apple for the day is: If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all...If you have something nice to say, don't keep it inside...SAY IT! Say anything nice that comes to your mind! Your spouse needs to hear how awesome they are! Be grateful....it's fun!

and see, you can learn something good from movies! :)

This just in....!

Drum roll please! The winner of the Harry Potter tickets is:

ELLINGSON'S!!! CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!

I wanted everyone to win! I was probably more excited about this than you because I have been to these parties before! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO FUN!!!

A BIG thanks to the Pheonix Alliance for donating the tickets!!!

Thanks for all the fun guys! I wish you all could have won! :)

You can always try to win the tickets to see David Archuleta.... :) Good luck. :)

Remember to be grateful anyway...

True Gratitude.

Today is Veteran's Day. The thought of all the soldiers and their families and what their sacrifice means for me and you...well, it brings tears to my eyes.

I know today is date idea day. If you don't have any plans and are staying home, then how about expressing gratitude to our troops?

I ran across THIS website. There are so many awesome people doing their best to support our troops and we can help. There are TONS of ways. But many of us don't feel like we have the time, money, resources or ...name that excuse.

Anyway, the one that is the most simple and might be the most important is the letters. Write a letter....write three.

Here are some helps from the website:

What to Write About Keep your message upbeat and positive Be thankful ~~ share a little bit of yourself Ask questions; however, do not discuss death or killing Avoid politics completely and religion in excess It’s all about appreciation and respect Ask yourself: “Will this letter bring a smile to someone’s face?”

Send them here:

Operation Gratitude/California Army National Guard 17330 Victory Boulevard Van Nuys, California 91406 ATTN: Charlie Othold

I know at times I feel frustrated and even helpless, feeling like I can't do anything, well I can. And you can too. Check out the website for some other ideas or do your own search. But lets do something for those who put their lives on the line for their Country, their freedom and ours. If you are really grateful then DO something!!

sweet indeed. :)

My sister Rach is making chocolate caramel apples today. I asked her how she was going to show gratitude to her hubby and she said she was going to make him a treat. ooh, that sounds good to me!!! Don't we both benefit when we do something nice?! Gratitude tastes good. :)

Oh and HERE is the recipe....:)

What would you make?

FREE date night?

I know I'm all about FREE! Since we are in giveaway mode....

How would you like two free tickets to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows the NIGHT before it opens?! Yep, next Thursday and it is NOT the midnight showing! It is earlier! Time is TBA. This will be an awesome date night! Oh, sorry this is for Utahns and it is at The Junction in Ogden. This is a going to be a party! If it is a drive for you, it will be worth it! Costumes, prizes, butter beer and SO MUCH MORE!

Leave a comment and I'll draw the winner out of random! I'll announce the winner on Friday!...this Friday! :) Good luck!

Thanksgiving garland...

So I absolutely LOVED THIS idea! I have kids and I know they are going to love it too! What a fun way to decorate and be grateful!

I love so many of the ideas that Simply Modern Mom has! I hope you like it too! Thanksgiving garland here we come! :)

we can give children roots and wings!

I enjoyed reading THIS sweet talk. He talked about a few different things but the thing I pulled out was the importance of the Temple. The apple for today is: talk to your spouse and decide on the next time you will attend the Temple together. Put it on the calendar! Keep this date!

I recently stood in a house of the Lord with a worthy couple there to receive blessings by covenant. I invited them to make their first honeymoon last 50 years, then after 50 years to begin their second honeymoon.

I found myself looking with this beautiful couple into the temple mirrors—one mirror on this side, one mirror on that side. Together the temple mirrors reflect back and forth images that stretch seemingly into eternity.

Temple mirrors of eternity remind us that each human being has “divine nature and destiny”; that “sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally”;⁴ and that, growing together in love and faithfulness, we can give children roots and wings.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, . . .

“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”¹⁷

I humbly witness: God lives. He “shall wipe away all tears from [our] eyes”¹⁸—except the tears of joy when we see through temple mirrors of eternity and find ourselves home, pure and clean, our family generations sealed by priesthood authority in love, to shout, “Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna.” In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

amen :)

The apple for the day is:

When you pray as a couple or as a family today, stop and express gratitude for your spouse. It is so good for your kids to hear how grateful you are for your spouse and everything they do!...and it is important that your spouse hears it!

...THE give away PRIZE!...

I've got a ticket for you and your spouse to see this fellow sing with the Tabernacle Choir on Thursday December 16th at 8:00 and they will go to the lucky couple, randomly selected! Look here for the details of the contest. I hope you will be dedicated, creative and grateful throughout this month! Enlist your spouse! If you both participate, you can both put your names in! Okay, I know some of you won't see this contest for a bit so I'll just say you need to complete at least 20 days of showing gratitude! Email me by Dec. 1st! I will mail the tickets to the winner! (I sure hope you live in Utah! :)) Have fun!

"win their heart"

I know it is date idea day. I will get to it, I promise!

The idea of "win their hearts" is found in the scriptures, HERE. I love it because, let us all recognize that sometimes marriage isn't easy. Sometimes we have to dig deep and think about where we are and how we individually can make things better.

I heard the concept of winning hearts at a Relief Society meeting. The speaker told a story about his teenage son that would not listen to him...good kid, just didn't really want to have much to do with his dad. This dad felt like he was doing good things, he tried to talk but to no avail. It was especially bad when he brought up the subject of a mission, boy did things get icy!

Well, this guy was reading and thinking about his son and when he read verse 29 the thought came to him...Boston Celtics!

So, he called up his friend, got some tickets to the game, invited his son to go...it was his favorite team after all. His son was surprised at the invitation but couldn't turn it down because it was HIS team! They went to dinner, the game and frozen custard afterward.(or maybe just the game and custard...I don't remember) No mention of a mission, they just talked, laughed and had a good time. After that his son started talking to HIM!..about a mission too! He was amazed at the difference doing something totally for his son made!

I can't tell you what your spouse loves, but hopefully you know. :) If you don't, that is okay...ask! Do something just for them! Plan it out, make an invite and DO IT! Show gratitude for them by doing something they love! Be unselfish. If you hate what they love, try to learn to love it. Ask them about it, let them teach you, let them talk. Enjoy being together and doing something for your spouse! Win their Heart!

There are quite a few who read this blog that I don't know or know of your marriage situation. I want to tell you something with all sincerity. If you are struggling and don't know how to reach your spouse; if you will pray and ask the Lord for guidance and then read Alma 17 in the Book of Mormon and think about what you can do for your spouse. You will get an answer. Believe that you will be guided and you will! The Lord loves you. He loves your spouse too. I pray that the Lord will bless your marriage. I do.

how sweet it is!

Look at these faces! I love this picture. Who taught them to do this? You guessed it! Zach.

What a wonderful way to show gratitude! Involve the kids in thanking your spouse. Take them out back/front, cut a flower and bring it in. You can whisper all the sweet things in their ears that you want them to say!

or there is also coloring a picture or making a treat.

I'm pretty sure there is nothing better than hearing "this is for you. i love you".

My first GIVE AWAY!

I'm so glad I got on Facebook yesterday! There were several of my friends that started posting something they are grateful for and they are going to do it everyday for the whole month. I copied them of course because I LOVE the idea. I already just feel happy because I am expressing gratitude!

How about we do our own version of this in our families?! Do something everyday to show or express your gratitude. Make a serious effort. I am willing to bet a gratitude gift that it doesn't make a difference! I got thinking the other day that give aways are fun, so I am going to try one!
Here is the challenge: Keep a journal of what you do everyday for the rest of the month to show and express your gratitude email me at the end of the month and just tell me you did it. BE honest! I will randomly pick the winner! You don't have to email me what you did. I'd love to hear highlights if you'd like...but at least email or comment that you did it and you would like to win the tickets. :)

This is a marriage blog, I would love it if you focussed on showing and expressing gratitude to your spouse but if you keep it in the family, that is good too! :)

Here are a couple ideas: (and I'll post some on the top of the blog too)

*Ever heard of the book "Wednesday Letters"? Write them a letter once a week full of things you are grateful for about them!
*Take special care of something they have given you. ie. shine your wedding ring and show them! Tell them how much you love it.

What Matters Most

I don't need to say anything else.