a special day

I know Saturday is a special day to get ready for Sunday.

Make it special and speed up your preparations and have some friends over for lunch! Or a widow or someone else you like. Do something different today that helps you switch your focus from you to them. If you read this early enough you will still have time to call them and invite them over. No big deal if it is just an hour before. They might not have plans. :)

It might even be a nice day for a picnic. It might. :)

Look for it!

The apple for the day is: Look for the good that your spouse has done today.

Chances are they have tried to help you out! Look for it and then tell them thank you for the things you noticed!

yummy!

Date idea: Do something yummy!

Does that mean try to fondue?

*make a treat you've never tried or your favorite one?

*tour a fabulous garden near by?

*give your spouse a yummy make out session?

*take pictures of things you both think are yummy?

What is a yummy date anyway? I must be hungry.

What good does it do?

So, we don't live exactly close to a cheap grocery store. Zach was going to be down town picking up some things at Home Depot for the latest project of a chicken coup so I asked him to pick up a much needed item for me. He said "sure", I said "thanks" and then forgot about it.

...and so did he.

He worked a long hard day on this chicken coup and I took care of the kids, put them to bed, got ready for the next day and cleaned.

Do you know how many times I wanted to send him a text that said, "yeah, thanks for picking that up for me. -preciate it."

Do you know what helped me not to? The question in the title. When I ask myself "what good would it do?" I definitely don't press send.

Zach is the nicest guy on the planet. I can give him the benefit of the doubt, get over it and think about something that would do good.

The end. :)

on your knees

The apple for the day is: pray on your knees together, holding hands.

You are probably all saying, "um, we already do!" Well then, this apple is for this tired momma that sometimes prays in bed while already lying down! (don't judge me! :))

It's not all about you!

...but what if it is????

Sometimes I am sick, tired or depressed and gosh darn it, it is about me!!! :)

The answer comes from THIS post.

"* When you are physically sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them, in gratitude and love, toward God."

So, when I feel like it's all about me I'm supposed to not think about me? That is something new. :) I think I'm definitely easier to live with when I'm not just thinking about me. :)

Hopefully this helps someone other than myself. :)

Happy Easter!

In all the thinking/pondering I do about marriage thanks to this blog, I've decided the one thing that will help our marriages the most is if we both "Come unto Christ".

We would be more understanding, forgiving, loving, unselfish, etc, etc.

Today I hope you'll have sometime to watch THIS video clip of one of my favorite talks by Elder Holland.

We are so blessed to have Truth and Light in our lives. I can more fully bless our marriages.

Happy Easter!

enjoy!

I know I'm egg-cited for today! I love Easter egg hunts and quality time with my family!

Just enjoy your time together! Try not to rush it! Look at all the pretty flowers! Point them out to your kids. Take lots of pictures and don't forget to get one of you and your spouse! (that one often gets neglected :))

After this week you won't see the word egg-cited until next year. Good grief! :)

it's what's for dinner...

There are days I'm not too proud of the concoction I've come up with for dinner. Then there are days that I am. But, I have realized that presentation makes a difference.

If you want something to be special then make it look like it. You know those eggs you cut out? Put those by the plates with names and something egg-cellent about that person. Put goblets out for you and your spouse. Have nice music playing softly in the background. Put ice in your juice. :) I know, that's a bit much. :)

Try something different for dinner and then you'll be able to claim that it was a new recipe if you guys don't like it. At least you set the table nice though! It doesn't take much more to use different glasses and it brings a different mood to the kitchen.

Happy Friday!

to date or not to date?

that is the question...

Do you already have plans for this weekend? Are you doing something fun for Easter?

If you don't have one planned you can send them on a easter egg hunt. Put clues inside the eggs. A fun activity awaits at the end. If you can find a sitter then send them around town. Take the eggs with you in your purse/bag but make them do something or buy you something to get the clue. You can also make them do something to get the clues at home too.

Have a good time. :)

you know what?

I realize that guys read this blog too. I do. (so here's a snake picture for your amusement. :)) I also realize that I write this blog from a wifely perspective. -a stay at home one at that.

I hope that no matter who you are and what your situation is that you will take some of these ideas and make them your own. Find ways to enjoy your spouse more. Even if you stop, peak into a room and admire them without them knowing. Don't think about what they did wrong that day, but think about their heart. -their good intentions and how grateful you are to have them to come home to. I decided gratitude can always make me feel better.

I often post about leaving notes for your spouse because that is what Zach really likes. He is a words of affirmation person. Do you know how much he likes it that I leave him notes?

I send notes in his lunch usually and the other day he sent me a text at 9:30 in the morning and said, "I can't tell you how much your little notes mean to me. especially on a day like today! thanks sweetheart. i love you."

I thought it was funny that it wasn't time for lunch but he had already read his note. :) In the world we live in where there is pressure to do and be everything, we really need the encouragement of the ones we love most. I share that because even knowing that he is a words of affirmation person, I hadn't realized how much they have meant to him. I am sure the same thing is true for you and the things you do for your spouse. Keep it up!

egg-cited!

You know me and I love themes! I am a little slow at posting about Easter. I do know the real meaning of Easter btw...but I do love the eggs, the bunnies and the treats. :)

Have fun with this! Send your love out the door with a treat telling them how egg-cited you are for when they come home! (be specific about what your egg-cited for, if you want-this is a plus)

or

a note telling them how egg-cellent you think they are!

There is always egg shapes you can cut out of paper and use for your notes for the week. Leave them in random places. I love random stuff. :)

Isn't it egg-citing? :)

like a flower

It is Springtime, so here's a thought. :)

"Marriage is like a flower, it needs constant feeding, so it can grow and blossom"

The other day after Zach left for work I went into our bathroom and wrote him a note on the mirror. It was a really sweet note too. Can I tell you it made a fabulous difference on my day? He came home, read the note and said, "oh, thanks." -kind of like it wasn't that big of a deal. (he appreciated it and I didn't feel bad just so you know). I thought about it though because it clearly meant more to me than it did to him. I then realized that it is good for me to write these notes because I need to be reminded of how much he means to me. If that makes any sense. :)

These little things matter!

The right words...

Sometimes I struggle to find the right words to say...

It occurred to me in sacrament meeting today that when we need help finding the right words we can look to the Spirit of the Lord, His Prophet, the scriptures and to the Hymns.

While looking at a beautiful picture of the Savior at church today, the words to "Lord, I would follow Thee" came to my mind. Now those are some awesome words for a prayer!

About two years ago things at Zach's work were a little interesting. I was concerned about a relationship of his with a guy in his office. From the outside looking in it seemed like this guy was trying to take advantage of Zach in forming a partnership. Whenever Zach talked to me about this, red flags were flying in my mind! The way I felt was...sick.

I did a lot of pondering and praying about this. No man wants to be told what to do. This I know. But I also felt like I needed to say something. I was nervous and worried about how Zach would take it.

After a lot of thought, I knew what I needed to say. Now, another important detail was finding the right time. I did a lot of praying. I specifically remember one night after the kids were in bed, we were out working in our garage. I was thinking about the words I had planned to say and every time I went to open my mouth, I got a pit in my stomach. The whole night this happened and I never said anything. I don't remember when exactly I ended up talking to Zach about it. I did though. I felt the Spirit help me through this conversation and I felt that support. Zach listened and didn't feel attacked. Looking back on this experience I am so grateful for guidance. For the influence of the Holy Ghost. And for a husband who listens to me. He didn't end up forming the partnership and isn't even in contact with this guy anymore. He completely severed the relationship. He began to see what I saw and didn't like it either.

I will be the first to say that I don't always listen when the Spirit warns me not to say or do something. I can tell immediately when I start talking and the Spirit leaves. Sad, but true.

How grateful I am though, for repentance. For the Atonement. For opportunities to try again. We have good and bad experiences so that we can learn. And I know that if we search for them, and when the time is right, we will say the right words.

side by side.

The apple for the day is: work together on your Saturday projects and then do something fun after. Make a smoothie, get an ice cream cone, go for a bike ride! Have fun!

this is it!

...the moment we've all been waiting for!

The lucky winner of this awesome getaway is.....

Kelley said...

Wow Becca, this is awesome!! I think we deserve the getaway because a marriage is one of the most important things to focus on in this life!!

Congratulations Kelley!!!! Would you email me with your address so I can send you the certificate?

I am so glad that I picked this winner at random because making the decision based on your comments would have been unbelievably TOUGH! I wish I had fifty of these!!! -I'l work on that. :)

Have a great day you guys! You are all winners to me! Thanks for reading, doing and sharing!

Remember today that, the big things are special because of the little things we do everyday! Carry on!!!

AND A BIG HUGE THANKS TO CINDY AND PETE AT THE BEST WESTERN!!! These guys are so great! If you're looking for a place in Park City check them out!

it's what fun is!

A while back I mentioned a CD I got from my parents for Christmas....

I listened to it the other day. After Dr. Lund's clients' (he's a marriage and family therapist) go through their "laundry list" of why they are there, he asks them what they like to do for fun.

Their response is "nothing"! Nothing?

So, I ask myself while listening to the CD, "what do Zach and I like to do for fun?". What a great question! I thought about it and then asked Zach later what came to his mind.

This question has motivated us to find the certain thing that we do for fun. For my grandparents it was Dominoes, my parents it was Rook. Our thing could be Hand n' Foot since we play that monthly with some great friends. :)

I think it's camping. We really love doing that. Could be playing ping pong, basketball, going to sporting events or musicals.

So, the date idea. After you ask yourself the question of what you and your spouse do for fun, then do that thing. If you can't logically do it for your date then do something else you think you might like. Try something new!

OR

If you can't get out tonight, pull out the laptop or computer and search and plan your next big anniversary with something adventurous that you both might like.

We did this last weekend and had a good time!

This is what we came up with...http://www.oars.com/grandcanyon

Bet you CAN'T wait til' tomorrow! I'm so excited to announce the winner of our getaway! Leave a comment if you haven't already! -you've got til' tonight!

hands on :)

The apple for the day is: clean your room! Before you retire if you can muster the extra energy, give your spouse a shoulder or foot rub or back scratch.

Giveaway announcement is Friday morning! You've got til' Thursday night to comment!!! Man, I wish I had fifty to give away!

egg face...

It is Easter time, you could draw funny faces on the eggs in the carton just to give your spouse a smile. :) You might also enjoy yourself too. :)

Remember when?

Remember when you were dating? What sorts of things did you do for your Love? You weren't always together. What did you do when you were apart?

I know I wrote Zach's name a lot when I was at work. :) ...and my soon to be last name. :)

I would send him texts, emails and call him and ask how things were going or how they went. I definitely paid attention to how much I did these things because I didn't want to annoy him. I would tell him what a hottie he was and how awesome I thought he was!

When I went shopping, I would think about what he would want to eat and get that. When I saw him for the first time that day or when he came to pick me up, I would give him a hug. We would hold hands while driving, sitting, walking...etc. And when he left I would totally give him a kiss!

The apple for the day is: think about the things you did before you were married and do some of those today! If you have time to talk to your spouse today, you could ask them for some things they remember that you did. I love thinking about those times! Have a great day!

When it's good. :)

This is a late Sunday post because I have something on my mind I would like to get out.

Today we went to a baby blessing for Zach's niece. Love that! While I was visiting with Zach's parents and his Aunt it came up that Zach's Aunt knows six girls, personally, that were married in the Temple and divorced within six months! ugh! That makes me so sad! -negative, I'll fix it!

We started talking about what I have been thinking about the last few days. (this blog is good for me :))

I've been thinking and analyzing: when things are going well with Zach and I and when they aren't and why that is. It's been interesting to do!

Things are good right now (as in today and this weekend. :)) and it isn't good because we don't have trials. We are happy and feel good because of the choices we are making....we choose to look out for each other and do things to help each other out. When we are doing this we are thinking less about ourselves. (problems tend to disappear when you do this)

When things aren't going so well with Zach and I, there is a lot of frustration, anger and resentment because we are worrying about what the other isn't doing for me. -selfish feelings.

In the beginning, before the world began Satan heard the Father's plan and thought, "what's in it for me? I want the glory, how is this going to benefit me?" What has that mentality brought him? A whole lot of misery! He surrounds himself with miserable things, people and spirits and does anything and everything to get others to be miserable too.

Contrast that with the Savior who said, "The glory be Thine forever". What has that mentality brought Him? Love beyond anything we can even comprehend and joy unspeakable! He spent His life serving and loving others. Yes, He suffered a great deal but who was it for? Others! Us, and Our Father in Heaven who our Savior loves more than life.

Selfishness breeds misery and destruction. Unselfishness breeds love and joy in a marriage. Zach and I are a work in progress. We are far from perfect and it is tough too because the adversary isn't going to leave us alone either. Where do you think those thoughts of, "if he really loved you he would take out the garbage without being asked" or "if she cared about you, she would make love whenever you want" and etc. etc. etc. come from???? Yeah, that miserable being that is bent on our unhappiness! You betcha! The devil and his minions!!!

What can we do to counter his tactics of deception?

1st step: recognize them and test them! The Spirit of Christ is given to every man! If the thoughts we have do not resemble the thoughts Christ would have or the things He would have us do, then they are adversarial.

2nd step: pray that we can come off conqueror. ask for help to see things as they really are.

3rd step: give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and try to understand where they are coming from.

4th step: remember that your spouse is not responsible for the way YOU respond/react or feel. You are!

5th step: love them. this is an action word! do something to show them you care!

6th step: forgive them because it is highly possible that "they know not what they do".

President Monson said, "choose your Love and love your choice". We have already chosen our Love. Now lets remember; "a successful marriage, requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person!"

Okay, you should win something for making it to the end of this post! Check out the last post and make a comment for your entrance in the giveaway! :)

Getaway, Giveaway!

I am THRILLED to announce I have a certificate sitting on my desk for a lucky couple to stay one night for free, HERE at the Best Western Landmark Inn at Park City Utah!!!

The room is available from April-June and September-December! Hopefully this falls around your anniversary! Even if it doesn't, we can all use a getaway right?

Here is what you need to do!

*Leave a comment and give me a reason why you think you deserve this getaway!

For an additional two entries...

*Become a follower of this blog! (tell me in your comment that you're a follower)

*Like and share An Apple a Day on Facebook! (again, tell me in your comment that you did this)

I will draw the winner at random on Friday April 15th in the AM and announce it that morning!

You have until Thursday the 14th of April at midnight mountain time to enter! Good luck!

You probably already know this, but I'll tell you again just in case! I am an advocate for doing "little things" to show love to your spouse. (I know, shocker!) I also advocate the big things...like getaways. Let me just say this, the big things mean more when we give priority to the little things!

So, the apple for the day is: take your love in your arms and tell them how much they mean to you. If you can't take them in your arms then write it down and mail it to them! It doesn't take long. They might not act like they care too much, but they'll think about it later and appreciate that moment and you more.

Spring time!

Aw, isn't it refreshing! I absolutely love to see flowers coming up!!!

Well, if isn't too cold where you live and you live close to a Temple then go for a walk for your date! Go get an ice cream cone and go walk around the Temple!

I love going for walks. I specifically enjoy Temple grounds because the flowers always look so nice!

You could also go to an art exhibit or run a race together. If you aren't a runner, you could go cheer for people who are running. :) -you know, pretend like you know them and make signs! (I'm getting excited to do that for the Ogden marathon!-I would rather be running it but I missed the boat)

What are some dates you look forward to doing this time year?

Dear John,

So, I have two awesome little brothers on missions right now. Sometimes they have companions they get along with better than others. You can bet that neither of their mission presidents will or would make a transfer because they aren't getting along. What great training for when they are married to the companion of their choice! To have the mentality that "there are no transfers" is a powerful one! Learning how to work things out takes practice and for some of us, we are married and practicing. None of us are perfect and knowing this, we can be patient and forgiving...of ourselves and our spouse.

Since we need to be able to work things out, communication skills are invaluable. If a touchy topic has to be discussed, then wait to talk about it if you are really mad. Take a walk first,count to ten, burn some calories, write your thoughts and think it through first. Praying until you feel better and then asking for help to say the right things would probably be the best out of all of these.

From experience, the time to talk about something is not when you're mad. You say things you don't mean and that is nothing short of a withdrawal in your love bank. You'll be paying off that one for a while. :)

When you are discussing something, listen to your spouse and don't interrupt. Make sure you understand their point of view. You might be wrong you know.

If there is a need for an apology then be sincere and admit you were wrong. Humility is an attractive characteristic. :)

In honor...

...of my sweet parents who are celebrating their 34th anniversary this month! I thought I'd share some advice from them that I've gotten through observation.

*They laugh together. They are both funny. My dad is very witty, my mom laughs at his jokes and not all of them are funny. :)

*They don't talk bad about each other. Growing up if I was angry with one of my parents and talking to the other one, they always backed the other one up.

*They support each other in their callings in church and in life and don't whine.

*They take care of each other.

*They work together and enjoy doing things together.

I'm blessed to have great parents who have been through a lot. They have taught me how to find joy in the journey. Love you Mom and Dad!

wahoo!

Wasn't Conference AWESOME?! Gosh, it seemed like after every talk was over I said, "that was a great talk! I'm going to need to read that one again!" :) Loved it!

Did anyone else think that there were a few "apple a day" talks? I did!

Small and simple things matter!

Elder Scott's talk was seriously the sweetest thing. I could tell how much he loved his wife, and how much he misses her.

It is so interesting to me that when we loose someone we love, the good times mean more and the little things that we did for them and they did for us, mean more. What a great reminder!

What are you going to do today for your spouse? My apples for the day are:

I will be sticking some notes in some random places, like his lunch, his journal and his shirt pocket. I am a lucky girl, he should know that by now, but it feels good to keep telling him. :)

Oh and I'm not too surprised to see that others thought the Allen James photography deal was awesome! There are three spots left as of this typing! 10 people can have it! Leave a comment and send me an email! (it's the post below...)

Happy Monday!

THIS IS NO JOKE! :)

My great friend Sherrae with Allen James Photography has offered a photo shoot, an 8x10, 2 5x7's (professionally printed) and a DVD of the photo's for $15 to the first 10 people (in Utah or who can come to Utah) who:

*are reading this blog! :)
*post a comment about something cheesy they love about their spouse or their favorite date they've gone on recently with their spouse!
*email me their info so I can pass it along to her(email, address & phone) (zachandbecca@gmail.com)

!!!!!!!!!!!! Super awesome deal!

She will mail you a gift card that is good for anytime in 2011! She also agreed that these can be purchased and given away as a gift!

This is their way of helping promote happy families too! You will love Sherrae! I know, I'm excited for her to take my family pictures!!!

Check out their website to see the great work they do!
http://www.allenjamesgallery.blogspot.com/

Happy April Fools day! Lucky for you, this isn't a joke!