some days...

you see your spouse a lot and other days you really don't. those are the days you just do the best you can to make the most of the time you have.

the last few days have been that way for Zach and I.

yesterday I thought about what Nephi said a lot...."and it came...to pass."

Remembering that seasons/times in my life won't last forever somehow makes it easier to keep going.

I do have to say I LOVED this apple that Zach did for me the other day. I was doing the dinner dishes and he came up beside me and said "can I take over?", "do you want to go read or something?" I couldn't help but grin! "heck yeah!" I was thinking. :)

Although you have minimal time sometimes, there is still always time for kindness and courtesy.

Hope that gives you an idea for an apple today. :)

last day!

well, it is the last day of the month! I hope you are more grateful than when the month began! :) I also hope that as we embark on Christmas traditions and gift giving and receiving, that we will be even more grateful! We have SO. MUCH.

Anything you would like to say about that? I will announce the winner for the comment contest tomorrow. :)

The apple for the day is: pull out your calendar, ask your spouse out for a Christmas date and mark it down!

I am grateful.

Here are the top ten reasons why I am grateful to be married!

10. Zach lets me put my cold feet on him at night. :)

9. When the going gets rough we have each other.

8. We can divide and conquer.

7. Zach brings Priesthood blessings to our family and home.

6. Zach supports me in my {sometimes crazy} endeavors.

5. I can support and encourage him and help him succeed.

4. We can have an eternal family.

3. We take care of each other.

2. He is my best friend and confidant. (he's pretty nice to have around. :))

1. It's FUN!

Have you done this before? It is harder than it looks. (not coming up with 10 things, but narrowing it down!) You should give it a try. :) These are good things to dwell on!

There is your apple!

you know what?

Lately I have enjoyed searching for talks on marriage on lds.org. Okay, I've always enjoyed this but lately I've been reading and listening to older ones. Tonight I found THIS ONE by Elder Haight from 1984. I have noticed a common theme in the talks I've read and it is in the first line of this quote.

"It would seem that a major underlying cause of divorce is in not understanding that marriage and families are God-given and God-ordained. If we understood the full meaning we would have less divorce and its attendant unhappiness. Couples would plan for a happy marriage relationship based on divine instruction. If couples understood from the beginning of their romance that their marriage relationship could be blessed with promises and conditions extending into the eternities, divorce would not even be a considered alternative when difficulties arise. The current philosophy—get a divorce if it doesn’t work out—handicaps a marriage from the beginning."

We need to study in the scriptures and go to the Temple often. We are BOMBARDED on every side with false doctrine that counters this. If we want to "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly" then we need to fill our minds with this doctrine and anything that supports it!

Another quote.

"Our concern is not just that media producers and writers don’t portray happy, fruitful marriage, but that many married couples don’t take their marriages seriously enough—to work at them, protect them, nurture them, cultivate them day in and day out, week in and week out, yearlong, quarter-century long, half-a-century long, forever."

Okay, so I could ramble off a bit about this because I am all about "an apple a day" but seriously, if we are going to just take what is dished and not "seek out and promote that which is uplifting and happy and decent", then we will have a difficult time keeping our heads straight!

One more quote.

"Marriage is sustained by faith and knowledge of its divine establishment, and is sustained daily by the energy of love. A wise man explained, “When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to one as one’s own satisfaction and security then the state of love exists.” (Harry Stack Sullivan, Concepts of Modern Psychiatry, 2d ed. New York: W. W. Norton and Co., 1961, p. 42.)"

I am so grateful to be married!

Happy THANKSgiving!!!

The apple for the day is: remember to take pictures! ...not just of the food but of your family. AND get a picture of you and your spouse!!! Yes, ask someone to take it.

Enjoy this wonderful holiday.

Oh good.

it is still November and it is still legal to post pictures of pumpkins. :)

i do enjoy it when my children take cute pictures of Zach and I. It does make me happy.

Yes, we are improving our pumpkin carving skills one year at a time. It would help if we carved them more than once a year really.

okay, yeah. busy time of year...already. no, this week has not run away with me...exactly but gosh it feels busy.

in all the busy of business I think saying thanks really feels the best. when I say thank you and really mean it. i feel good. i feel like i slow down for a bit and i feel refreshed. do you know what i mean?

have you called your spouse and told them thank you for something specific they did or are currently doing? you should. there is your apple.

since gratitude is in style and all...

You might have the tradition of summing up all your blessings in one document at the end of the year and storing it away...on your blog, in your journal or something. and then again, you might not.

Tonight I was writing a Christmas letter to send to my brother in Norway. I got kind of carried away telling him all the ways we have been blessed and well, I quite liked writing it all!

So, I thought I'd submit the idea to you. I have written Zach and our kids letters and given them on Christmas but I thought I would write them all a letter this year for Thanksgiving. Another idea that we have done and are currently doing is a gratitude book. It is a three ring binder and we all draw pictures of things we are grateful for to put in it. I love the Spirit I feel when we do it all together.

I am feeling the holiday rush right now so I am headed off to plan my week so it doesn't run away with me! I hope your week is wonderful!!!

so, did you go on a date? we did! Logan Temple, lunch at Arby's and a quick trip to Walmart. :) We also watched Midway to Heaven. Have you seen that?! I cried and laughed. Good show!

What did you do?

It's Friday!

Go on a date!!! Make it happen. Call a friend, see if they want to swap for tonight or tomorrow sometime. You can do it...even for an hour!

How is your gratitude quest coming? Do you feel more grateful? Zach and I have a standing list we are adding to of our blessings. It is nice to see it growing. :)

I hope your weekend rocks!

text some love

The apple of the day is: send your spouse a sweet text. . . tell them they are a hottie and you can't wait to see and kiss their face. :) (just an idea...:))

"Happiness runs...

...in a circular motion, life is just a little boat upon the sea. Everybody is a part of anything anyway. You can be happy if you let yourself be."

So I was standing in the shower and letting the water hit the top of my head. I slowly put my head down so the water would hit the back of my neck. It was weird but when my head was up, the water was soft and quiet but as I put my head down it got louder and harder on my neck. You know what came to my mind? The conference talk "It's better to look up!". It was a hard day and that's why I was taking forever in the shower all the while Sarah was drawing with marker all over legs and Josh was sleeping on the floor...:)

I don't know how many of you use Google reader but I put ideas on the top of the blog for additional apples to do...so here are last weeks. :)

*buy them a little somethin', like a CD or a key chain, *go to bed when they do *doodle on your love notes, with hearts and kiss the paper with lipstick, *show support for what they are doing by not complaining. *dance

Hope your day is awesome!

a new beat...

You know when something in life just gets thrown at you and you think to yourself, "okay, this will be different."? Could be, job change, new calling, family challenges due to illness or lasting contention, sudden decision to go back to school, kids (really anything that has to do with them. :))...etc.

I like to think of these times as seasons in our lives. The way I see it is it's a new song or a new beat that we need to learn how to dance to-together.

There have been a few moments within the last few months that I have thought the above phrase. Specifically when we lost Lily there were a few times when I was scared. Scared because I realized how differently Zach and I were dealing with things and I felt us pulling apart. Yeah, last thing both of us wanted but we didn't really know what to do.

The KEY has been communication. We both admitted to each other that we felt the distance increase and we didn't like it. But because we have talked about it and prayed for help, the distance decreases. Not that it doesn't try to creep back in though. But we keep coming back together and keep trying to learn this new dance.

Do you relate? Did this make sense?

talking about gratitude...

This TALK is a good read. That's all. :)

11-11-11

Since it is a special day, you should make-out. :) No wait, I should!

don't stop until you feel better!

So, I am not a husband basher and Zach is not a wife basher...so we get along. :)

But since this is the case I don't put everything on this blog. You should know though, that me and Zach aren't perfect. :) I know, shocker! :)

Sometimes things are just off, could be me, could be him. When it is both of us, neither of us really know what to do. :)

Yesterday was one of those days. We were both off and we didn't know why. I was doing the dishes and he was reading to the kids or something and I was huffing and puffing. All the while, thinking to myself, "get a grip!", "what's wrong with you?", "think of all the things he DOES do Becca!". Okay, you should know I REALLY tried to think this through and get myself out of my "well if he would...." state.

Finally I decided I had best stop thinking and start writing because I am much more focused when I am writing.

So, the apple/suggestion for when times go like this: grab a notebook/ piece of paper, pen and start writing all the things you are grateful for about your spouse and don't stop until you feel better. Yes, the negative will come to mind, if you need to, say a prayer first and then don't let the negative things stay, only write the positive.

It is amazing the change that comes when we are grateful. Powerful thing.

"My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love."-President Monson

What do you do to get out of your "well if he/she would..."state of mind?

free for comments! :)

This week, this book arrived at my house and I have to say, I am EXCITED to give it away! Gary and Joy are awesome! They inspire me with their wisdom. This book will be a wonderful addition to your marriage books worth reading again and again!

I am going to give it away to the best commenter for the month! I do have other books but I am not going to promise them to you...yet. :)

Sometimes commenting doesn't come easy so hopefully this will give you the motivation you needed!

Also, check out the Lundberg's site, they have some articles worth your reading!

schedule your apples!

I thought I'd try something different this week and give you some apples in a bunch...that way you can schedule them into your week and be sure to do one a day!

*send them an email or text with something you are grateful for of what they did that morning or something about who they are. Doesn't have to be serious. It could be, "thanks for taking out the garbage this morning" or "I am so grateful for your nice muscles! They are such HUGE a blessing!":)

*while eating dinner go around the table and say what you are grateful for that day.

*mail a card to their office-funny or serious expressing gratitude.

*spend a special time with your spouse and just talk. if they need coaxing then make a treat or play a card game while you talk.

*ask them if you can do anything to help them this week or during that day.

*cook a favorite meal, call them and tell them what you made and that you made it just for them

*initiate love making. it seems like things just go better around here when...well, never mind. :) Anyway, love them like they want to be loved.

Have a great week!

my quest for more gratitude...

One thing that has helped me on my quest to more gratitude is listening to talks on gratitude at lds.org! I have much enjoyed it. I listened to THIS ONE by Sister Bonnie Parkin who I love and found it quite insightful. I only listened to it, the video wouldn't work for me, but I listened while I did dishes so I just needed sound.

What have you been doing to help you be more grateful?

grateful meal...

The apple for the day:

try tonight, tomorrow...the next meal you have together, having a grateful meal. You can always embellish the table and create a special atmosphere but the most important thing at the table (next to the food and your family) will be a little note by every plate that says why you are grateful for each person.

I am going to do this several times this month. I am also thinking of giving everyone an opportunity to write the notes or draw the pictures for the cards. You know, let everyone pick a night/day for their grateful meal. If you want you can let them pick what is for dinner.

What have you been doing to show you are grateful?

I organized my craft room/Zach's home office yesterday! woot! I, so should have taken before and after pictures. It was a project!

"My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love." -President Thomas S. Monson

Gratitude MONTH!!!

I love having this blog! I think about my marriage more than I would without it! (should I have admitted that? :))

One thing I have decided is that gratitude can solve A. LOT. of our problems!

From President Monson:

"How can we cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude? President Joseph F. Smith, sixth President of the Church, provided an answer. Said he: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!”

A grateful heart, then, comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. This requires conscious effort—at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude. Often we feel grateful and intend to express our thanks but forget to do so or just don’t get around to it. Someone has said that “feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

How will you express your gratitude this month?

Here are some ideas.

*Start a gratitude journal. Write in it EVERYDAY! Focus on things about your spouse that you are grateful for or things they have done. -give it to them at the end of the month or at the end of every week. OR send it with them to work or leave it on their pillow the next day.

*Show your gratitude by taking care of what you have. (in my case I can work harder at home to have a clean organized house to show Zach I am grateful for his hard work in providing for our family. I just polished my wedding ring. :)))

I have some books to give away....but this time I am going to give them to those who comment often! Happy Gratitude month!! It's time to get grateful!