The winna'!!!!

The lucky winner of this awesome giveaway is......:

Rip Curl Mom said...

Oh my gosh it has been like 5 years. We are such slackers! I would love to win this :)

Congratulations! Leave a comment with your email and I'll send you the info! (or you can email me if you don't want to leave your email..)

Thank you to Kathrin Paul Photography for donating this giveaway! Really, THANKS!

Now to all of you of the blessed Tuesday, I hope it is warm where you are and you enjoy the sunshine! Give your love a kiss!

I love long weekends!

Yesterday was Ben's last day of school so Zach took off work for his end of year program and now he doesn't have to work on Monday!!! This is cause in and of itself for a celebration!

I think all we'll do is go for a hike today, FINALLY plant the garden, visit a few grave sites and go to a family BBQ but it sounds so nice!

I hope you will have a fun weekend! Happy Memorial Day!

Spring Giveaway!

It's springtime (on the calendar anyway) and Kathrin Paul Photography wants to take YOUR picture! (she took ours and we LOVE them!) To kick off the "photo season" Kathrin is doing a GIVEAWAY! If you are chosen, you will receive:

**Family sitting (up to 20 people)
**2 digital disks with all images

To enter, just leave a comment about when the last time was you had your family picture taken! Don't forget to leave a contact email! I know for some, it has been too long! That will not determine who I choose, I promise to make it random. The deadline to enter will be Monday, May 30th at midnight! Check the blog Tuesday morning to see who the winner is!!

write it down and then do it

The apple for the day is:

Ask your spouse what some of their favorite things are that you do for them. Write them down. These can be romantic, sweet, fun, spontaneous, etc. The next thing is divide up that list and put them on your calendar to remember to do for them! I know writing things down helps me a TON! Don't let your spouse see it if you don't want to. Every once in a while send them a little note of anticipation that you are going to do one of their favorite things that night or that weekend, etc!

What to expect...

I know I've said this before but as with all things in life, they must be repeated until we get it. :)

"Frustration is often the result of unmet expectations" Sometimes our spouse doesn't even know they are expected to do something and yet we still might get frustrated. Silly when you think about it. -especially when we consider a fundamental marriage fact- we think differently! And our priorities are sometimes different!

A comical example (and I wasn't mad, just amused. :))

So I've been sick. Sick of being in bed too. The other night I went downstairs and left everything a mess, Zach got the kids into bed and then joined me downstairs. I was watching my fav. "Anne of Green Gables". Love it.

You know what he chose to do? Clean his guns and oil them. :) Hilarious even as I type this. He did do a ton as I described in the last post and I really appreciated it! It is just funny to me because I always (okay, nearly always) clean the kitchen before I go to bed so I start out with a clean kitchen. This night, the kitchen was full of dishes because all me and the kids did all day was put the dishes in the sink. It was a mess. Zach cleaned his guns. :)

Need further proof that we think differently? :)

But I guess it had been on his mind since our ward Father and Son's outing a few weeks ago when he realized it had rained when he went hunting in October and he had never cleaned them. He saw rust on his shotgun and that is never good. So, he saw a movie as the perfect time to sit down and clean his guns. I of course didn't know that is was on his mind until that night. Just funny.

Now the obvious. I couldn't be mad. I didn't even ask him to do anything that day, everything he did was all his idea, from dinner to the kids in bed. All I could be was grateful.

Just because we had our anniversary and Mother's day and I've been sick, I've been thinking about expectations and how important it is to learn to communicate them. It is a habit that is worth the effort. Yes, habit. Talk about what is important to you on this upcoming birthday, Father's Day, Summer, school vacation, Saturday, etc. etc. etc. If you are leaving for the weekend and you'd like your spouse to do something specific while you are gone, then ask- don't tell. If you don't ask and communicate your needs then it is your own fault it doesn't get done. You own it. You might get lucky and they do it. But if you need something done, or want something done, all you can do is ask.

Let's also remember that your spouse is not your servant. They are so many other wonderful things, but not that. Never treat them that way. If you do, apologize and get busy making it right.

Lots of Apples and food for thought. Talk about what is important to you, you could even illustrate what is important by saying, "when I was growing up, my family made signs for us on our birthday and wrote on it how cool we were. It would mean a lot to me if we could do that in our family. I would love one for my birthday". Then they know what is important and why.

Hope your weekend is a great one!

It's not easy being sick

I think I have the flu. Yeah, pretty sure.

Whenever something out of the ordinary happens to me-like getting sick, I think of how things like this effect my life. My life as a mother and a wife especially. I get so needy and less able to do anything. I put our two year old down for a nap and then went to bed. Ben and Sarah came and woke me up here and there with little needs but for the most part I stayed resting with no interruptions. I talked to Zach and he said he'd come home early and take care of dinner. I felt miserable. I looked miserable.

From 12:30 on I moved from one couch or bed to another to watch the kids. When Zach got home he took care of everything. After taking care of me in the morning, taking Ben to school and then working hard all day, he had to come home and take care of everything again. Long day for him.

How do things like this effect marriage?

I tried to do my best and read to the kids, let them put dress ups on my head. I did ask nicely for things and say thank you but that isn't much. Honestly though, sometimes life is just hard. We do our best and make sure to ask nicely and say thank you when someone helps us out. Being grouchy never helped anyone.

Through it all though, being truly grateful and expressing it as much as possible does a lot for both the giver and the receiver. When I have days like this I am SO grateful for Zach. He is so great to me and to the kids. The way he involved them in getting ready for dinner, cleaning up, making a treat and the whole bit. All the while I sat on the couch admiring this total hottie that is my husband and feeling super lucky.

Now I'm going back to bed. Here's hoping sleep comes and stays tonight.

Celebrate good times!

So, last week we had a little computer crash and I was trying to load and then post some cute wedding day pics from our wedding day. We were married 7 years ago last week! Cra-zy! It has been so much better and harder than I ever thought. (oh and I don't dare load the pics yet..)

I did say I knew I was lucky the day I married Zach and now I realize I had no idea how lucky I was! He is a catch!!!

So, we had our reception a week after we were married. I thought I'd share our fun that we are going to do with our kids to celebrate our reception anniversary.

I'm going to make a cute little two tiered cake with the kids, we'll have a nice dinner with special glasses (they always love it when they get one too!), we'll watch our wedding video and then have some cake...which will probably turn into a mini food fight. :)

During announcement time at FHE we told them about the reception anniversary party. They all couldn't stop laughing. They are so excited. It is fun to share stories with them about when we were dating and the earlier years of our marriage. They love it.

We did get our nice day and night away thanks to Zach's parents! I love being a mom, I love being married and I love getting away with just Zach!

Well, there are a couple ideas of things to do in this post. If you don't have an anniversary coming up, you can make one. Put special glasses on the table on the date you got married. Calculate the month anniversary it is and celebrate! Something about nice glasses on the table just makes dinner nice. :)

Daily Bread

The CES Fireside by Elder Christofferson was a wonderful talk. I printed it, read it, reference it and watched it twice. It is called "Give us this Day Our Daily Bread". You can read it or watch it from THIS link.

Here is just one of the many quotes I loved.

"Thinking of our daily bread keeps us aware of the details of our lives, of the significance of the small things that occupy our days. Experience teaches that in a marriage, for example, a steady stream of simple kindnesses, help, and attention do much more to keep love alive and nurture the relationship than an occasional grand or expensive gesture. That is not to say, brethren—you who are married—that your wife wouldn’t appreciate something new and really nice to wear or occasionally some other gift that expresses, with an exclamation point, how you feel about her (within the parameters, of course, of your miserable budget). It’s just that a constant, daily expression of affection, in both words and actions, is far more meaningful in the long run"

Of course I love it when authorities and scriptures validate the philosophy of doing the daily, little things. :) The choices we make everyday shape who we become and the marriage that we will have. Keep doing those little things. They do and will make a difference. Good talk. Good talk.

touch on it

When I was dating one of my friends told me to touch boys' elbows and I would get dates. :) It turned out to be good advice. :) Zach actually remembers when I touched his elbow!

That just verify's to me that touch is important!

The apple for the day: come up behind your spouse and hold them. If you are "discussing" something that increases tension between you. Touch during the discussion. Stay close enough to touch each other.

some Z's

The apple for the day: comes from an e-book I started to read and haven't finished yet. I linked up to it HERE. And HERE is the e-book.

One of the pages gave advice about getting enough sleep and waking up early enough that you have time to do what you want to do in the morning. The author was saying he hadn't set an alarm clock in 25 years. (so obviously he doesn't have young children and his sleep is never interrupted)

The picture he painted makes a lot of sense. This is an area Zach and I are constantly trying to work on and that is getting to bed earlier and waking up when we plan to.

So yeah, the apple: go to bed early and wake up early enough to rid the tension that comes from tardiness.

If you have a hard time going to bed early then don't get on the computer at night. (that was totally for me-that is usually why I stay up...well, that or a good book)

Considering...

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I didn't look at the computer all weekend. We stayed busy all weekend. I was so glad we were able to sneak in a date though.

Zach did so much to make Mother's day nice for me. In thinking about an apple for today. Consider your weekend. Did your spouse do a lot for you? Or did you find yourself unhappy with something?

Okay, it is a new week. Build on what happened. Good or bad. Whatever you do, make it better. If this means getting over lack of attention or if it means showing gratitude for all they did. Either way, build. Build up. In my mind I see myself making deposits. -doing things I know he would like.

Call them today, tell them how grateful you are for them and how glad you are to be married to a wonderful person. Ask them if they'd like something special for dinner. Have a note waiting on your bed expressing gratitude for something, even if it is little. Give them a nice welcome home or see you later. Have a great Monday!

a few tears later...

I read THIS blog yesterday and to say I bawled is putting it lightly! The entry I read took me a few attempts to finish because, well I'm a mom. It was worth it though. It probably hit home so much because we have three kids too. It kills me what this man must me going through, having just lost his wife! -and right before mother's day too.

Throughout the post there were several things that hit home. The regret he felt for not spending more time. But how glad for the things they did do. How grateful he was for good family support. How his faith and testimony have been and he knows, will be a strength to him. (to name a few)

It is SO sad when things like this happen. I just have to say that we should all be grateful and love our spouse more and our kids more. -say the nice things that come to mind and put aside the seemingly necessary and urgent things more often to spend quality time together.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about that. We will have far less regrets if we cherish each other like today is our last day...plus we will have a better relationship if we do.

THE WINNER!!!

A Big time CONGRATULATIONS to:

kate said...

caleb is my rock! i am always running running running from one obligation to another and he is the steady, dependable force keeping our life together. he can do anything! dishes, bum changes, laundry, building things for our home. all the while attending school full time. amazing! my apple is that i try to do anything i can to make his life easier. if i see the lawn needs to be mowed i will go and do it so that he will have more time to study. i am WORKING on making sure he gets fed a well-thought-out meal every evening because i know how much he appreciates that. thanks for the super fun giveaway, i love your blog so much!

CONGRATULATIONS KATE!

Thanks to all who entered! AND a BIG thanks to Kimo's for this fabulous giveaway!

"...I want some more of it!"

There I was, thinking about an "apple" to post for today and questions like, "what kinds of things does Zach like that I do?" came to my mind. So then I think, ask him.

Then I thought of a game. :) Come up with a list of things that I do for him that I think he likes...and that is why I do them. I could read it to him or print it and have him circle, "I like it", "I love it" or "I want some more of it" next to each item. :) Cheesy huh?! I just thought it might be a fun way to get him to tell me what he likes, loves or wants me to do more.

This apple might take more thought but I think it is worth the time. I guess we'll see! :)

my favorite!

When thinking about a date idea to post today I got thinking about what dates have been my favorite to go on with Zach.

They are the "different" dates.

I do enjoy dinner and a movie. But my favorite dates are the music in the park, art exhibits, live entertainment, arcades,hikes, bike rides, etc. I think the reason why is I enjoy the conversations we have about them later. They add a different element to our friendship.

Yesterday Zach was working from home so during our kids nap/quiet time I invited him for a walk. I set the timer for the kids and told them we'd be back before it beeped. It was so nice to have an uninterrupted conversation for fifteen minutes!

Dates help us to have this and it is SO needed! Don't neglect it this week! Call your mother, the neighbor, the babysitter, someone and go on a date! Even if it is an hour! After you've found the babysitter, pick an interesting date and call your spouse and invite them out! -don't assume, invite them.

Enjoy each other and the time alone. :)

And don't forget to enter to win the 16x20 canvas wrap! Today is the last day!

last day.

Supposing today were your last day on earth,

The last mile of the journey you’ve trod;

After all of your struggles, how much are you worth?

How much can you take home to God?

Anonymous

I read this yesterday and it's a good reminder to break things down and put things into perspective. If today were your last day on earth what would you do?

The apple for the day is: think about it and then act like it. :)

Picture THIS!-giveaway!

You could win a canvas wrap for posting a comment telling why being married is so awesome AND an "Apple" you like to do or give your spouse!

Example. Being married to Zach is so awesome because he warms up our bed for me at night and lets me put my cold feet on his legs! :) The "apple" I like to do for Zach most often is leave him notes telling him how awesome he is and how I appreciate him taking such good care of me.

Okay, so there you go! Isn't this cute?! Our good friends at Kimo's wanted to support our blog by doing this giveaway! Thank you!!!

Make your comment by Thursday night and I'll announce the winner Friday morning! Good luck!

keep contact...

Does your spouse travel?, work long hours?, work for days at a time and then come home?, have school and work, etc?

How do you do it? How do you support them? How do they support you?

I know when Zach is gone hunting or on a business trip I kind of go crazy...or want to...or need to. Sometimes it is just hard, especially with young kids or if it is a stressful, busy time for some reason.

I remember when Ben was a baby, not even a year old yet, Zach left for a 10 day training in Chicago. I tried to do some fun things. I stayed with my parents, his parents and visited friends. But I missed him like crazy. We talked on the phone on his lunch breaks, he called at the end of the day to say goodnight to Ben. After Ben was in bed Zach and I would talk for a while until he had to go study. This training took place in October when the World Series was in Chicago. This was way fun because we watched the game together. We just talked on our phones and watched the game. We both had to charge our phones while talking and our phones were hot- we had been on them so long. I believe this game went into like triple overtime. I might be being dramatic. :)-I get that way sometimes. :) But still, this is a sweet memory for me.

The reason why this is on my mind is because it seems we go through times when things are particularly crazy. We don't see each other very much and when we do there is tension because our needs aren't being met. I know time is a big thing for me. I am a quality time person. Zach and I can do anything-we can walk to the corner and back and I'm happy. I just love his undivided attention. So, what do we do when there isn't any time?

Well, referring to the above story. We weren't sitting next to each other watching the game but we were there together.

If you don't have a lot of time in one block then make the little contacts here and there matter. When I am gone with my mom and sisters to womens conference, Zach keeps the kids and I go. If he were to make me feel guilty about it I don't think I would think of him very fondly when I was gone.

When your spouse is away, find ways to be positive, grateful and encouraging. Show love. Be their friend. All day when I'm at womens conference I think about how lucky I am because he is so supportive. Does this mean keeping the kids is very easy for him? Does he put on a face? No. Sometimes he will call and ask what he should do about something but then he asks if I'm having a good time and tells me not to worry about anything.

When he goes hunting for a few days I send him away with notes hidden in his bag.

Probably one of the best things to figure out is what kind of love language they are. Then do your best to love them that way when they are gone so much.

May DAY!

Happy May 1st everyone! This is our anniversary month! I love celebrating! Woot, woot!

Not sure on this happy Sunday that I could say anything better than Elder Scott about doing the little things and taking advantage of the time we have with our spouse and our children. We just never know how much time we have left with them!

Take some time to listen to his talk! Go HERE to watch it or read it if you want. :)