having a hard time?

is your spouse having a hard time? don't make it worse, make it better. encourage them. leave them notes and do favors for them without complaining. If you can, laugh.

sometimes when life is hard we "know the Lord will help us" but we don't ask. ASK! Ask for the help you and your spouse need. Act like you believe that help will come. Pray throughout the day for your spouse and then make a point to listen to the promptings you receive.

for a change

Going out this weekend? Well, you should. We all should.

Call some friends and swap. You watch their kids Friday, and they can watch your kids sometime on Saturday. or call your mom or sibling or something. Plan that date!

Don't have any money? Sure you do! Empty your pockets of all your change or grab your coin jar. Do a date with what you've got in change. (unless you have a huge jar and you're saving for something else-use part of it, not all of it!) So what if you end up window shopping or eating penny candy outside the hardware store! Go to the park and throw around a frisbee or hit a local art exhibit..that's free of course. :)

What else can you do with change?

so we all have a sign hanging around our necks...

...it says "make me feel good about myself". Did you know that?

When I imagine that about someone I am so much nicer to them.

Don't you love being around people who are nice to you? Who make you feel like you are awesome, funny, cool, spiritual, crafty, good looking, talented, funny? (yes, I said that twice. :))

The apple for the day is: imagine that sign around your spouses neck. Ready, go.

before you say an angry word

The other day while practicing my piano skills I ran into some good marriage advice in the Primary song book. I linked it HERE.

Did you ever learn the song, "Hum your favorite HYMN"? I totally remember learning it in Primary. Oh the things we remember. :)

Anyway, the whole song is good advice but I especially like the second verse.

"Before you say an angry word, remember you'll regret it For once it's said the harm is done and some folks won't forget it. "

"Just hum your favorite HYMN sing out with vigor and vim and you will find it clears your mind, hum your favorite HYMN."

Sometimes I think we make life too complicated. There are simple truths and simple things that will help us not make silly mistakes. Pick a Hymn, learn the words and sing it instead of saying something you'll regret.

Another reason why I think it's a great idea to have a Hymn in mind that we sing often is because "The song of the righteous is a prayer unto me.." and we've been commanded to "pray always". So sing out with vigor and vim! :)

peace...

I really, really like the book The Peacegiver. You should read it-if you want to...never mind, you really should read it!

It is probably the best marriage/relationship book I've read-seriously. The author, James Ferrell uses the scriptures to help the reader understand the Atonement and how it really can "heal our hearts and homes".

It is about time for me to re-read it. Even though I read it a good 2 years ago, I still think about it. I make different choices because of what this book taught me...well, sometimes. :)

This book helped me to realize something. Comparing and competing have no place in any of our relationships. We are not going to be held responsible for the choices our spouse makes. We will be accountable for our own.

Sometimes we fall short, we all do. What matters is how we, individually, respond to these situations-whether we fall short or someone else does.

Anyway, read that book and then tell me how much you loved it!

remember the beginning?

Last week I mentioned what happens in the beginning. I am a believer (and I actually think I heard somewhere) that if the first five minutes of your day or first interaction with someone is sour-that's a preview of how the rest of the day will be. Yes, I've posted this before. It is something I need to remember so I'm posting it again.

So, the apple for the day is: start your day off with kind words. welcome your spouse home with a hug and a super. long. nice. kiss. And if something is on your mind that must be discussed, do it later. Make your first words nice words. Pay attention to the first five minutes and treat it carefully. Laugh, be understanding, appreciative, sweet...what else would you add to that list? What helps to make your time together better?

Here's to a good week. ;)

why is that sweet?

(so I heard that sugar feeds depression. I don't know if that's true-like clinically proven kind of true, but it makes sense. So I decided to stop eating it when I crave it and just save it for an occasional desert after a meal and eat nuts, fruits and veggies instead. :).)

So I am pretty sure that the idea of a treat sounded a lot better to me after I decided to stop eating so much of them. What is that about anyway? Can't appreciate a good thing til' it's gone eh?

Today is a day that fills me with many emotions. I can remember how I felt when I heard President Bush on the radio and he told us all to pray, to come together and not apart like they want us to. And how I felt about my freedom. It meant so much more. Much, much more.

Yes, I am patriotic, I love sweets, I'm going to eat better and all of this does relate to marriage. :)

When Zach is going out of town or going to be super busy at work, or going hunting, I miss him. The thought of these things makes me miss him. That's why thinking about the future makes me appreciate the present. All in all though, gratitude is a key attitude. We must learn how to appreciate what we have! Food, Freedom and Family.

How do we really show we are grateful for these things and the many, many other things we have? How?

I feel grateful when I pray about it. When I hold Zach's hand and thank my Father in Heaven for him. I feel grateful when I write Zach a note or write in my journal about him. I feel grateful when Zach is not at dinner with us but I tell the kids how much I appreciate their dad.

Today is a good day to express gratitude. We are so blessed. There is your apple. :)

perspective is kind of funny

Have you seen The Soul Surfer movie? Super good. I would totally recommend it!

There is a part where the girls mentor is talking about perspective. Sometimes life happens and for one reason or another we can only see part of the picture. We don't know exactly what is going on, why or how it is affecting us. We need each other, people!

Is there something your spouse could help you with?

(now, let me just say that sometimes your spouse isn't the one with the answers. sometimes they want to help though. let them try! if they don't want to help then talk to someone that does. The reason I say this is because sometimes I want/need to talk longer than Zach -being a man- can listen. I can appreciate that and even respect that and call my sisters or my mom!)

Anyway, I've just been thinking a lot lately about how we need each other. We need our spouse. We aren't always strong at the same time and it isn't easy to be the strong one. A line I love from the movie is "I don't need easy, I just need possible". Knowing what we know about Jesus Christ and His Atonement it is possible with Him. Lean on Him when it is hard. Don't just think about it. I often want to do everything on my own but leaning is still an action word.

I guess there is a fruit bowl of apples in this post. :) If this doesn't really apply to where you are right now, then watch the movie for your apple!

Who does that?

I'm Thirty? Who does that? Not me! I'm not old enough to be THIRTY!

Somebody pinch me. Never mind. :)

I know my apple for the day...get my hair done and go on a sweet date with my man! Yeah baby!

What is your apple for today? I would really love to know!

Heaven on Earth

I read THIS talk by Elder Hales the other day and it is SO, SO GOOD. I especially liked the reminder he gave that "marriage is not a crutch. We are climbing a mountain together" and it is not Zach's job to climb all the way up and when all is comfortable, pull me to the top.

We are in this together! Great talk. Oh, it's from September's Ensign but just in case I linked it so you can read or listen to it online.

There is your apple for the day.

In the beginning...RESERVED

Well if the Bible talks about "the beginning" so often then well, maybe what happens in the beginning is important. In the beginning, there was a plan and the plan was carried out.

It is the beginning of a new month. School just started and schedules are reinstated. It's the perfect time to pull out the calendar and RESERVE the days we want as a couple, family, etc. Mostly as a couple though-(this is a marriage blog :))

How many dates do you want out of the house?...with a babysitter? Do you want to go to the Temple? The R.S. meeting is this month(I know this isn't a couple thing but I'm super excited so Zach should be too!) What else do you want to do? Daddy daughter dates, Mother son, Family outings? Put it on the calendar and start calling the sitters! There is your apple!

It's going to be a great month! I love this time of year!!!

"He Is" by Hilary Weeks

He is. This song speaks to me right now. It is my prayer today that I will DO something about what I know. That I will let what I know change my heart and make me better. How blessed we are.

Seasons change.

Marriage is a lot like buying a house. When the seasons change you get surprised by what comes with it. Sometimes flowers pop up without you planting them and sometimes weeds do too.

Our job is to enjoy the flowers and work together to take care of the weeds.

Lets just remember the life is hard. Be kind to each other. Some days it feels like that is all you've got.

The apple for the day is: take a walk together. Enjoy the cooler weather or take a water bottle if it isn't cool yet. Hold hands and tell your spouse something you appreciate about them. -the walk doesn't have to be long, just go. Happy Friday. :)