What to expect...

I know I've said this before but as with all things in life, they must be repeated until we get it. :)

"Frustration is often the result of unmet expectations" Sometimes our spouse doesn't even know they are expected to do something and yet we still might get frustrated. Silly when you think about it. -especially when we consider a fundamental marriage fact- we think differently! And our priorities are sometimes different!

A comical example (and I wasn't mad, just amused. :))

So I've been sick. Sick of being in bed too. The other night I went downstairs and left everything a mess, Zach got the kids into bed and then joined me downstairs. I was watching my fav. "Anne of Green Gables". Love it.

You know what he chose to do? Clean his guns and oil them. :) Hilarious even as I type this. He did do a ton as I described in the last post and I really appreciated it! It is just funny to me because I always (okay, nearly always) clean the kitchen before I go to bed so I start out with a clean kitchen. This night, the kitchen was full of dishes because all me and the kids did all day was put the dishes in the sink. It was a mess. Zach cleaned his guns. :)

Need further proof that we think differently? :)

But I guess it had been on his mind since our ward Father and Son's outing a few weeks ago when he realized it had rained when he went hunting in October and he had never cleaned them. He saw rust on his shotgun and that is never good. So, he saw a movie as the perfect time to sit down and clean his guns. I of course didn't know that is was on his mind until that night. Just funny.

Now the obvious. I couldn't be mad. I didn't even ask him to do anything that day, everything he did was all his idea, from dinner to the kids in bed. All I could be was grateful.

Just because we had our anniversary and Mother's day and I've been sick, I've been thinking about expectations and how important it is to learn to communicate them. It is a habit that is worth the effort. Yes, habit. Talk about what is important to you on this upcoming birthday, Father's Day, Summer, school vacation, Saturday, etc. etc. etc. If you are leaving for the weekend and you'd like your spouse to do something specific while you are gone, then ask- don't tell. If you don't ask and communicate your needs then it is your own fault it doesn't get done. You own it. You might get lucky and they do it. But if you need something done, or want something done, all you can do is ask.

Let's also remember that your spouse is not your servant. They are so many other wonderful things, but not that. Never treat them that way. If you do, apologize and get busy making it right.

Lots of Apples and food for thought. Talk about what is important to you, you could even illustrate what is important by saying, "when I was growing up, my family made signs for us on our birthday and wrote on it how cool we were. It would mean a lot to me if we could do that in our family. I would love one for my birthday". Then they know what is important and why.

Hope your weekend is a great one!