keep contact...

Does your spouse travel?, work long hours?, work for days at a time and then come home?, have school and work, etc?

How do you do it? How do you support them? How do they support you?

I know when Zach is gone hunting or on a business trip I kind of go crazy...or want to...or need to. Sometimes it is just hard, especially with young kids or if it is a stressful, busy time for some reason.

I remember when Ben was a baby, not even a year old yet, Zach left for a 10 day training in Chicago. I tried to do some fun things. I stayed with my parents, his parents and visited friends. But I missed him like crazy. We talked on the phone on his lunch breaks, he called at the end of the day to say goodnight to Ben. After Ben was in bed Zach and I would talk for a while until he had to go study. This training took place in October when the World Series was in Chicago. This was way fun because we watched the game together. We just talked on our phones and watched the game. We both had to charge our phones while talking and our phones were hot- we had been on them so long. I believe this game went into like triple overtime. I might be being dramatic. :)-I get that way sometimes. :) But still, this is a sweet memory for me.

The reason why this is on my mind is because it seems we go through times when things are particularly crazy. We don't see each other very much and when we do there is tension because our needs aren't being met. I know time is a big thing for me. I am a quality time person. Zach and I can do anything-we can walk to the corner and back and I'm happy. I just love his undivided attention. So, what do we do when there isn't any time?

Well, referring to the above story. We weren't sitting next to each other watching the game but we were there together.

If you don't have a lot of time in one block then make the little contacts here and there matter. When I am gone with my mom and sisters to womens conference, Zach keeps the kids and I go. If he were to make me feel guilty about it I don't think I would think of him very fondly when I was gone.

When your spouse is away, find ways to be positive, grateful and encouraging. Show love. Be their friend. All day when I'm at womens conference I think about how lucky I am because he is so supportive. Does this mean keeping the kids is very easy for him? Does he put on a face? No. Sometimes he will call and ask what he should do about something but then he asks if I'm having a good time and tells me not to worry about anything.

When he goes hunting for a few days I send him away with notes hidden in his bag.

Probably one of the best things to figure out is what kind of love language they are. Then do your best to love them that way when they are gone so much.