Dear John,

So, I have two awesome little brothers on missions right now. Sometimes they have companions they get along with better than others. You can bet that neither of their mission presidents will or would make a transfer because they aren't getting along. What great training for when they are married to the companion of their choice! To have the mentality that "there are no transfers" is a powerful one! Learning how to work things out takes practice and for some of us, we are married and practicing. None of us are perfect and knowing this, we can be patient and forgiving...of ourselves and our spouse.

Since we need to be able to work things out, communication skills are invaluable. If a touchy topic has to be discussed, then wait to talk about it if you are really mad. Take a walk first,count to ten, burn some calories, write your thoughts and think it through first. Praying until you feel better and then asking for help to say the right things would probably be the best out of all of these.

From experience, the time to talk about something is not when you're mad. You say things you don't mean and that is nothing short of a withdrawal in your love bank. You'll be paying off that one for a while. :)

When you are discussing something, listen to your spouse and don't interrupt. Make sure you understand their point of view. You might be wrong you know.

If there is a need for an apology then be sincere and admit you were wrong. Humility is an attractive characteristic. :)