Did I tell you?

Did I ever tell you that I love being married? Well, I do! Did I ever tell you that I have been super scared of divorce for like all of my married life? I will be honest with you here. For quite a long time I have been bothered with my fear of divorce. Yes, but not just divorce. Divorce because of adultery. Not Zach cheating on me but me cheating on Zach. I will also be honest here-I do not understand how people get into these situations. I have never been close to this situation but nevertheless, it has been a fear. (I have known people, good people who have fallen prey to this and it has greatly bothered me-see, the inspiration. :))

With that said. I read a lot. I have read a lot about "what you think about comes about" types of things. "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". You know what I mean? Well, about three weeks ago I was at my parents house working on quilts for my kids for Christmas. Both my mom and dad were gone for a couple of hours and I was there working on the quilts alone. I was left to my thoughts-which I like...sometimes. :) I started thinking about this fear. It really bothered me that I thought about it out of nowhere! I started praying as I worked. "Heavenly Father, this is not my desire. Why do I keep thinking about it and how can I get rid of it?!" type of things.

Can I just tell you how grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who really hears our prayers...and ANSWERS THEM!?

With tears in my eyes as I prayed, the answer came to my mind. I have THIS talk by H. David Burton on my ipod and have loved listening to it. This is the part that came to my mind:

"I overheard a conversation between golfing great Arnold Palmer and a young caddie he was using for the first time. The young caddie, while handing Mr. Palmer his club, told him the distance to the flag was 165 yards, there was an unseen stream on the left, and a long and treacherous rough on the right. In a very kind but firm way, Mr. Palmer reminded the young man that the only information he required was the distance to the hole. He further suggested he didn’t want to lose focus by worrying about what was on the right or left.

It is easy to lose sight of the really important objectives of life. There is much to distract us. Some are floundering in the water hazards on the left, and others are finding the long, treacherous rough on the right insurmountable. Safety and success come when focus is maintained on the important opportunities found by driving the ball straight down the middle—... And that’s the way it is."

I realized for the first time that I was focusing on the wrong thing! I don't need to worry about what all the options are for sin because they aren't choices I am going to make! I don't need to worry about all the good people who get divorced and why. I choose to be married to Zach, faithfully, loyally and happily always and forever. And that's the way it is!

Like I said before, I have had this fear for a while. These fears still come to my mind. When they do, I focus on Zach. I think about him and what I am grateful for. I think about what I can do for him. It is amazing what focus can do for a girl. :)

I needed to share this, even if it was just for me.