this pregnancy seriously took a toll on this body of mine. my abs muscles were separated. you could fit three fingers in between them. ugh. i know this is a common thing by the way. i still feel bad about my abs.
my midwife explained that if i didn't get a handle on it sooner, than later, that they would continue to pull apart and then fat would deposit in the middle. talk about motivation!
why in the world would i tell you this on my beloved marriage blog?
in your marriage, if you're married long enough, you'll experience times when you are further away from your spouse than you want to be. it's not something you intended. it happened slowly. then one day, you realize that you aren't as close as you want to be.
so, you do what i'm doing with my abs. you decide you want to change it. you don't like where you are or the direction you're heading and so you figure out what needs to be done and you do it. if you don't, it will only get worse.
if you've been neglecting them. stop. un-neglect them.
if they've been neglecting you. encourage them to come back by being pleasant. be kind. welcome them. invite them. ask yourself, "would i like to spend time with me?" be interesting. learn something new. come up with something different to talk about.
ask your spouse if you can help them with something and then do it.
think about them and what they need. try to anticipate their need.
save energy for them.
go on a date. get away from your children.
physically come closer to them. touch really does bring you closer. cuddle on the couch. touch their leg at dinner. kiss them when they come in. be the kind of lover you want.
appreciate them. out loud. in writing. try to catch them doing good.
pray together. when it's your turn to pray, express appreciation for your spouse, pray for them in their work, or anything specific they have going on. hold hands.
these are things that come to my mind. when you feel distance in your relationship, what do you do? what do you feel like bonds you to each other?
my midwife explained that if i didn't get a handle on it sooner, than later, that they would continue to pull apart and then fat would deposit in the middle. talk about motivation!
why in the world would i tell you this on my beloved marriage blog?
in your marriage, if you're married long enough, you'll experience times when you are further away from your spouse than you want to be. it's not something you intended. it happened slowly. then one day, you realize that you aren't as close as you want to be.
so, you do what i'm doing with my abs. you decide you want to change it. you don't like where you are or the direction you're heading and so you figure out what needs to be done and you do it. if you don't, it will only get worse.
if you've been neglecting them. stop. un-neglect them.
if they've been neglecting you. encourage them to come back by being pleasant. be kind. welcome them. invite them. ask yourself, "would i like to spend time with me?" be interesting. learn something new. come up with something different to talk about.
ask your spouse if you can help them with something and then do it.
think about them and what they need. try to anticipate their need.
save energy for them.
go on a date. get away from your children.
physically come closer to them. touch really does bring you closer. cuddle on the couch. touch their leg at dinner. kiss them when they come in. be the kind of lover you want.
appreciate them. out loud. in writing. try to catch them doing good.
pray together. when it's your turn to pray, express appreciation for your spouse, pray for them in their work, or anything specific they have going on. hold hands.
these are things that come to my mind. when you feel distance in your relationship, what do you do? what do you feel like bonds you to each other?
2 comments:
love it becca! your ideas are just the motivation i needed. sorry about your abs! sure hope they can reignite their love for each other and get close again. :)
Thank you for this post. I like your analogy a lot. It does take a lot of work to bring you and your spouse together, but the end result is so worth it. What a great reminder! Something I do for my husband is buy him a treat when I am grocery shopping, something I know he loves, like cookies or chocolate milk. It isn't a huge thing, but I know he appreciates it and it shows I was thinking about him during my day.
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