You see, i have an 8 month old that likes to pull my hair. I said to Zach, "some days I think I should cut my hair super short. So short he couldn't even grab it."
His response was, "you'd look awesome!"
Too bad I didn't just leave the conversation on that note.
"My face is too fat for short hair." -insert shocked look on Zach's face- "I'm too fat to have super short hair. It wouldn't be flattering".
Honestly, I'm not sure what got into me at that moment. I should never have said that out loud and that put him in a very awkward spot. I did apologize later for saying that and for making him feel awkward. (In case you were wondering) ;)
Have you ever given someone a compliment only to have them, not only not accept it, but actually throw back an insult about themselves at you?
It can be quite difficult to see them in the same light you saw them in before.
Case in point.
"That's a darling outfit! I love that shirt!.."
"Ugh, I can't seem to get this stain out and I'm not sure it fits right."
The stain that hadn't caught your eye, now does. Why didn't you see it before? You weren't looking for it. You see it now though.
Or
"You're house looks great! I love what you've done..."
"You must be blind. If you're not, don't look over there..."
We don't need to go around pointing out our flaws to others. Especially to our spouses. They know we aren't perfect.
Several years ago I read the biography of President Ezra Taft Benson. It told of his sweet wife Flora and how she found herself entertaining people in their home quite often. Luckily for her, she had been taught by her mother to put out her very best and to never apologize for it.
I love that.
"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less" -C.S. Lewis
We recognize there is Divinity in everyone around us. We would do well to see it in ourselves and act like it. Do the best with what we have and never apologize for it.
Besides, it does nothing for our self-esteem or for the comfort of those close to us to put ourselves down. I'm sure they don't want the consistent job of defending you, to you.
Some Apples to try:
*if you have a hard time not saying bad things about yourself, get a black notebook, call it your thought prison and put them in there. -then don't show anyone!
*find something that would help to lift your spirit. Hair cut? Read a good book. Plan a night out with friends. Exercise just so you can say you did it today. Do something nice for someone else.
*what is something positive you could talk about? Even if you just say, I love the book I'm reading or I called so and so today, it's been a while since I've talked to them. ...if you've been down on yourself lately, your spouse will love to hear the change in your tone that something happy has brought.
*get up ten minutes earlier than yesterday and take those extra minutes to pray and read your scriptures.
* have you set any goals? My goal for this week is to have some things on my calendar for the rest of the year that I can count on. I am writing them on my calendar this week! It's happening. Some things are dates with Zach or the kids, girls nights out, teacher prep days, library days (for me so I can use my brain :))
What would you add to this list of apples?
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