Life is so full of change. It's been said, "nothing is as constant as change".
So how do we deal with that?
Honestly, I'm not sure I could have answered that question very well a couple of weeks ago.
Thankfully, at the Marriage Celebration, I was given the assignment to facilitate a class on the topic of change and how to successfully navigate it.
The presenter for this class was Dan Hubler. He talked about the need to have 3-4 consistent things we do in our lives that we can count on. Some people call these things, systems or traditions. Dan called them "valleys".
He used the visual aid of play dough and a small bouncy ball. If the play dough is as flat as a pancake, there is nothing to keep the ball from rolling off. If you have "valleys" in the play dough, they keep the ball on.
Change is constant and yet, we don't feel stable in it. Unless we cling to the consistencies in our lives that we have created. Sometimes the change that comes into our lives takes away the possibility of the consistencies we've clung to in the past. We then need to create some new ones.
He had us team up with another couple we were sitting by and share ideas. Zach and I were SO glad we teamed up with a couple that had been married for 28 years and had some wonderful ideas.
They are recently empty nesters and have five children, married or off to college. It was inspiring to hear the things they did when they were in our phase of life. They spoke of this time and these memories with a great deal of fondness. It was obvious it had made a major difference in their success-perhaps, all the difference.
1- set a day every month that the husband stays with the kids for several hours (at least) and the wife gets away to do something of interest to her. (not grocery shopping) *Zach may have tried to cover my ears.
2- weekly date nights and at least once a month, plan a very creative date that is out of the norm, interesting, adventurous or fun. (they did say that this, at times, was quite expensive and totally worth it. They had some good times and were glad they made it a priority).
3- overnight getaways, sans children, at least twice a year.
These were ideas they shared in the time we had. I wished we had more time.
We do have counsel from inspired leaders and we would be wise to implement it now.
Some that come to mind are:
*companion counsel/planning sessions each week
*scripture study and prayer as companions (hold hands and pray for each other and the success of your marriage)
*Family Home Evening
The more specific we are in our planning, the easier it will be to carry it out. If you have a specific day and time for things, you can both put them in your calendar. When we do this, there is much less, "oh, that's tonight?" moments.
Since this class I have found validation for the need of consistency in our lives, in articles and books I'm reading. I'm convinced that because there is so much convenience at our fingertips that we don't feel the need to plan ahead of time. Because of this, we miss the security the consistency would bring, the benefits of anticipation and also, well planned adventures.
Yes, change is constant. We can be too. Sounds to me, like being consistent in our systems, traditions or valleys, is a good way to roll.
The presenter for this class was Dan Hubler. He talked about the need to have 3-4 consistent things we do in our lives that we can count on. Some people call these things, systems or traditions. Dan called them "valleys".
He used the visual aid of play dough and a small bouncy ball. If the play dough is as flat as a pancake, there is nothing to keep the ball from rolling off. If you have "valleys" in the play dough, they keep the ball on.
Change is constant and yet, we don't feel stable in it. Unless we cling to the consistencies in our lives that we have created. Sometimes the change that comes into our lives takes away the possibility of the consistencies we've clung to in the past. We then need to create some new ones.
He had us team up with another couple we were sitting by and share ideas. Zach and I were SO glad we teamed up with a couple that had been married for 28 years and had some wonderful ideas.
They are recently empty nesters and have five children, married or off to college. It was inspiring to hear the things they did when they were in our phase of life. They spoke of this time and these memories with a great deal of fondness. It was obvious it had made a major difference in their success-perhaps, all the difference.
1- set a day every month that the husband stays with the kids for several hours (at least) and the wife gets away to do something of interest to her. (not grocery shopping) *Zach may have tried to cover my ears.
2- weekly date nights and at least once a month, plan a very creative date that is out of the norm, interesting, adventurous or fun. (they did say that this, at times, was quite expensive and totally worth it. They had some good times and were glad they made it a priority).
3- overnight getaways, sans children, at least twice a year.
These were ideas they shared in the time we had. I wished we had more time.
We do have counsel from inspired leaders and we would be wise to implement it now.
Some that come to mind are:
*companion counsel/planning sessions each week
*scripture study and prayer as companions (hold hands and pray for each other and the success of your marriage)
*Family Home Evening
The more specific we are in our planning, the easier it will be to carry it out. If you have a specific day and time for things, you can both put them in your calendar. When we do this, there is much less, "oh, that's tonight?" moments.
Since this class I have found validation for the need of consistency in our lives, in articles and books I'm reading. I'm convinced that because there is so much convenience at our fingertips that we don't feel the need to plan ahead of time. Because of this, we miss the security the consistency would bring, the benefits of anticipation and also, well planned adventures.
Yes, change is constant. We can be too. Sounds to me, like being consistent in our systems, traditions or valleys, is a good way to roll.
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