How do I know what my spouse needs?

"He comes up behind me and kisses my neck while I'm doing dishes, rubs my shoulders and says sweet things...all I want is for him to roll up his sleeves and help with the dishes!"

"He brings me flowers but never talks to me"

"She will talk to me but then she's too tired to make love"

Maybe these remind you of things you struggle with in your marriage.  I know they vary from couple to couple.  People are different, families are different and couples are different.  One thing that is the same...we all have different needs. May I just add here that we need to appreciate love and affection when it's shown.  I wrote about that HERE.

It is a tender mercy if you or your spouse can figure out how they can meet your needs without losing their mind. :)

We have a lot going on at our house and in our lives.  I'm sure you can relate.

A few things that help us are:

*talking at the beginning of the week about what we have coming up.

*refreshing on the days plans in the morning.

*sharing our calendars on our phones.

***and then asking, ideally, everyday, if there is anything we can do to help the other person.

As far as meeting needs beyond the daily grind, support takes some serious intent.  Here are some things that I find helpful:

*in the chats listed above, daily and weekly- talk about 1 or 2 things that you would each love to have done for you.
These could be: call me during the day, text to check in, text to say something nice, say thank you, help me with the kids a bit more at bedtime, or take care of bedtime and let me take a bath or make love or take me on a date or get up in the morning to see me off or pray with me. Be thoughtful, respectful and open during these conversations.

Lastly because I think this is amazing, we can pray for guidance!  "What could I do today for my husband?", "How can I show my love better today?", and more questions like these will shed the light of inspiration on our marriages.  Amazing.

THIS talk is perfect for further insight on this subject: "What Lack I yet?

Have a great week.
Becca :)