an anniversary date!

well, since the anniversary is a special day & we celebrated ours two days after Reddick was born, I'm a little slow at posting about it.
this year...we did nothing!  we may have kissed.  we may have watched a video & i fell asleep.  i did write Zach a super sweet note.  he made me breakfast in bed...because it was mother's day too.  this is probably not at all helpful. :)

here are a couple of our favorite lower budget anniversary celebrations we've had.  hold on to your hats!...or your glasses.  apples for non anniversary celebrators at the end. :)

try these apples...if you dare!

we are probably the only family who is enjoying the Olympics...the t.v. is almost always on...which is not normal here.  we just really like it.

so, i say, "try these apples...if you dare!"

in my opinion, it is hard to remember to be sweet, considerate, encouraging, loving...etc, when i am totally engrossed in something else.

August is a big month around here...especially this year.  Zach's birthday, Sarah's birthday and the angel-versary of Lily (for more on this, go HERE).  i have a lot of projects that i'm working on and that is on top of everything else.

but, i am working on acting out my priorities.  they can't be my priorities if i don't act like it, right?

so, apples.

*touch in passing as often as you pass.  touch while talking if possible or make it possible.
(that touch forms a connection, our connections need to be continually strengthened)

*write a love note, funny joke, compliment on the mirror.

*make a surprise visit to their office.  check if their schedule is clear first!

*lights out night(if you dare!)-if you have kids include them.  don't use any power during dinner or after.  go to bed without any power.  after the kids are in bed...no electronics!  play games by lantern or anything else fun you can think of! (um, this is emergency training!)

*help them with something they've had on their list to do..that they don't want to do or don't have time for...do it for them or help them.

*take a walk outside after dinner.  talk.  or don't.


"Thank God for the joys of family life.  I have often said there can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences and associations of life are there"
-Ezra Taft Benson (God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [1974], 178).

take your pick!

HERE'S YOUR PICK OF APPLES!...or at least some to get you thinking!

*give them a compliment you don't usually give.  think about it.  what is something you like about the way they dress/ make the bed/ serve dinner/ park their car/ play with the kids?  make it specific!  say it!

*when you are out and about, pick them up something small.  gosh, it melts my heart when Zach says, "I picked this up for you today".  *sigh.

*after the kids are in bed, take a gander outside together.  hold hands.  talk.

*take turns. if your spouse planned the date last week, you're it!

*call and check in during the day.  a simple, "just thinking about you and how much i appreciate you in my life", will do just fine!

*kiss em good and long when they get home...extra credit if you pop a mint first!

*vacuum their car /make the bed- lift their load somehow.

Being married has serious benefits.  One of which, "love is like jam, you can't spread it without getting some on yourself."  sticky is good. :)

here we go!

it feels good to be blogging some apples again!  here are some ideas for the week!

*flip a coin for who's planning date night for the week (that includes getting the sitter)

*do they have something big going on? -with work, with the kids?  make a point to ask them about it and give them your undivided attention while they are talking.

*make a meal that you have together even more special by making the table and food look that way.  go the extra mile and put a note under their plate or use special dishes.

*when you meet after some time a part, be sure to say something positive first. ie. "i'm glad you're home.", "i've looked forward to you coming home all day", "i've missed you", "thanks for working so hard", "having you home is a breath of fresh air".  ONLY say things if you mean it!  BUT, there is always something nice you can say!...think first.

*put a note in a random place that says something specific you love/appreciate about them. (on their steering wheel, bathroom mirror, shower wall, in their shoe..etc.)

*next time you are watching t.v. together, ask them if they'd like a foot, back, shoulder massage while you watch.

*ask them if they need you to do anything for them that day or this week.  then do it!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!  HERE'S TO A HEALTHIER MARRIAGE!

don't be offended. :)

so, the Apple of the day: eat one. -thank you Zach for your contribution. :)
he is trying again....schedule your sex and then do it. -oh boy I hope no one is offended. :)

to make up for his last comment...
come up with two or three things that your spouse can do for you that would put you more in a love making mood. could you use more help around the house? help put the kids in bed? build a chicken coup so his muscles bulk up?

okay, since we are on the note of doing things for our spouse...just the other day I was thinking about this. In a joking, yet serious way, I was getting after Zach for possibly having missed yet another hockey season and I've been asking for like three years to go to a game. Later that day or the next day I was thinking about that conversation and why he hadn't fulfilled my request yet- and it isn't like I'm easy to ignore. :)
So I began thinking about all the things he has asked me to do for about that long...maybe longer and I haven't done them. For me, they aren't urgent things and so it is hard, with life so busy and so many urgent things demanding my time, to get those things done that he's asked. But since I want to go to a hockey game...I'm going to try an experiment. I am going to make a list of the things he has asked me to do and begin checking them off. If I don't write it down I will forget because honestly those things aren't really on my mind. Well, we'll see if we make it to a hockey game any time soon. :)

this one's for the girls

So, that marriage celebration over the weekend? AWESOME. It was so good and so fun. Matt Townsend, the keynote speaker had us laughing so hard for an hour and a half. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. Good, good times. I will definitely be writing more about the things I learned.
So Zach and I went to this intimacy class. Yeah, we sat on the back row. Those classes are awkward for me to walk into. :)
Dr. Liz Hale was the speaker and she did a great job. I looked her website up and found THIS post. All of the ladies need to read it! Our men need and want us to be more forward and she gives some great ideas in THIS post!

I thought it was funny to read this article and remember THIS post. Loving them in their way does make a difference.

Happy Monday. :)

Last call!

Huntsville Barbecue just donated a $50 gift certificate for a door prize! There are MANY more like this! Come for the prizes, come for the classes, come for the good times and come for each other! Today is THE LAST DAY FOR THE EARLY BIRD PRICE!!
http://smithstix.com/events/item/root/2012-northern-utah-marriage-celebration

The apple for the day is: get tickets to this! ha ha :) OR walk up behind your spouse and just hug or hold them for a minute. (make sure they aren't stressed or busy and wouldn't appreciate it) And since I didn't post one for yesterday, here is another. Express specific appreciation for something they do all the time. Example: for going to work, school, making the bed, fixing dinner, keeping the kids safe and clean, for their optimism. But be specific and genuine!

what love looks like :)

Try to capture a moment today.

There isn't one? Make one!

I know I've said this before (and you don't have to tell me if you have tried it) If the day is just "off" somehow, kiss! I am serious! When you see each other for the first time that day, kiss! Have you already been together for "too long" and things are just off? Kiss! If you don't feel like you can just walk up and lay one on em' then ease into it. snuggle up next to them, kiss em' on the cheek, say you are sorry that things are "off" and ask if you can start over. Then kiss em' like they are leaving for a month...or just got back! Then take a picture. :) ha ha! This is probably one of my favorite apples! It is quite effective around here. :) What can I say? (oh gee, I'm stopping!)

ha, it's Friday again!

love. it.

Our date will be during the day tomorrow. Tonight we are going to do a puzzle and watch a movie we don't have to watch because we know it so well. We wouldn't want to go sledding on Friday the 13th now would we?!

Have a great weekend!? okay.

The apple: kiss. a lot. tell them they rock.

stress, it's a killer sir

When things at work get nuts for Zach and he's visibly stressed I try and have the house as organized as possible when he get's home.
If it can't be, then I clean just our room. Aren't I nice? :)

What do you do?

I mean heck, I know you are busy too. Maybe what you do is go out to eat so you don't have to be home!

If I can't have the house clean because I haven't been home either, I just kiss him for a long time before he looks at the house and then he's so happy he won't see the mess! :) it works.

the moments matter

"moments are the molecules of eternity" -Elder Neil A. Maxwell

how much time will i see zach today? he has a full day at work and then i have plans tonight.

that is often how it goes you know? life gets busy and we don't see each other very much.

to make my time with him count, my apple for today will be: kiss hello and goodbye. pray for and with him. (that was two, oh well. :))

how do you make your time count when the days are long and busy?

Spouse inventory!

As 2011 comes to a close, it is a great time to take a spouse inventory.
This apple might not be what you think. I am not suggesting you take an inventory of your spouse, (because that is too easy) I am suggesting, you take an inventory of how you are as a spouse.
Because I don't know the details of you lives I will try to be more specific than I am vague in this suggestion. :)
So try this on for size.
Think about the last time you spoke to your spouse.
*What were you thinking about?
*What can my spouse do for me? OR *What can I do for my spouse?
*How were you talking?
*respectfully? OR *disrespectfully?
*Were you encouraging OR *discouraging?
Okay, how about the last time you were in their presence.
Did you initiate physical touch? *kiss them hello or goodbye? *reach out and take their hand? *give a friendly bum slap?
*Did you express love and appreciation?
*Did you look for a way to help or serve them?
*Did you listen or do all the talking?

We live in a world that is really good at placing blame on other people. It is all too easy to do this in our own lives. In the end though what other people do is not what we are responsible for. We are responsible for what we do.
What are YOU doing to make your marriage stronger?
What are YOU doing to love and support your spouse?
I am in no way saying that this is always easy, especially because we are trained in the world we live in to absolve responsibility for our actions if we were wronged first.
But, we do follow the Savior Jesus Christ and He has shown us a better way, the only way. To take the higher road. Not the easiest way all the time.
He has also taught to forgive. Forgive your spouse and forgive YOURSELF. If the answers to these questions were not what you wanted that is not the issue any more. Now the issue is, what will you do about it.
This is an eye opening apple. I hope you do it. I hope we all consistently do it and then do better. That's the idea right?
What questions would you add to this list? What new years resolutions do you have set to help better your marriage?

11-11-11

Since it is a special day, you should make-out. :) No wait, I should!

not a word...

The apple for the day is: when your spouse or you get home for the day just walk right up to them with a sweet, seductive, or some other [nice] look on your face and kiss them!-a nice one!

Enjoy! :)

a little extra...

You know those times your spouse is rubbing your feet, your back or whatever and you wish they would do it forever?

The apple for the day is: do what your spouse loves and just when you are getting tired of doing it but they are enjoying themselves...keep going for a little bit longer. You can do it. :)

The winna'!!!!

The lucky winner of this awesome giveaway is......:

Rip Curl Mom said...

Oh my gosh it has been like 5 years. We are such slackers! I would love to win this :)

Congratulations! Leave a comment with your email and I'll send you the info! (or you can email me if you don't want to leave your email..)

Thank you to Kathrin Paul Photography for donating this giveaway! Really, THANKS!

Now to all of you of the blessed Tuesday, I hope it is warm where you are and you enjoy the sunshine! Give your love a kiss!

touch on it

When I was dating one of my friends told me to touch boys' elbows and I would get dates. :) It turned out to be good advice. :) Zach actually remembers when I touched his elbow!

That just verify's to me that touch is important!

The apple for the day: come up behind your spouse and hold them. If you are "discussing" something that increases tension between you. Touch during the discussion. Stay close enough to touch each other.

I will admit...

So, that marriage seminar? I will admit, I went to a class called "come on baby light my fire"!

I will also admit I was a bit nervous about what they were going to talk about!

Here is a quote from the marriage therapist who was teaching...(gives you an idea of the class. :))

"is a peck a kiss? NO! In order for a kiss to be a kiss, it has to be juicy! -There has to be bacteria exchanged!"

There you have your "juicy" apple for the day! :)

the pantry...

...for more than just food.

The apple for the day is: lock yourself in the pantry with your spouse. AND don't just talk while you are in there! :) (walk in closets work as well. :))

Happy Friday!

Do THIS!

I know there are times when you read one of these "apples for the day" and think, "yeah, that would be fun but I'm too busy." Well, this is NOT one of those apples! Got it? :)

Here is the apple for today and everyday!

When your spouse gets home today give them a greeting of a lifetime! :) No matter how crazy things are when your spouse gets home, drop it all and go to them. Give them a huge hug and a serious kiss. Show them you are glad to be back together with them!

For Christmas my mom and dad gave Zach and I a CD called "Building Forever", Making Your Marriage More Fulfilling, One Day at a Time, by Gary and Joy Lundberg. (I will refer to this CD a lot just to give you a heads up :)) I have listened to it already and love it!

One thing she says to do is "put your spouse on the top of your list". They must be the most important before everyone else. When they get home and you put them before everything else you show them they are #1.

Well, I will be honest here. I am not trying to brag but truly, my favorite song is "I'm so glad when daddy comes home"! The kids always run to their dad and it is because he is wonderful and I have trained them to look forward to him coming home. But here is the honest part. There are days that I am behind the counter when he walks in or I'm putting dinner on the table, the kids have been driving me nuts and I'm done. It is all I can do to smile. :)

I listened to this talk today any chance I had. When he got home tonight I dropped everything and went to him...do you want to know what he said after? too bad! :) j/k, he said, "wow, I would love a welcome like that everyday!" :)

The reason why I am telling you this is because it made the biggest difference in our night! We laughed more, when I was reading to Ben on the couch and was asking him something, he came up behind me and rubbed my shoulder while I finished talking. Our interactions were much sweeter. There was an obvious difference. All because I took a few minutes to show him he was first on my list.

Do it!! Okay, I'm done. :)

Oh and if you couldn't tell, I wrote this last night. Now I'm really done.