does it matter?

are you the one who thinks "if I don't do anything for Valentines it won't matter"?

Well, if you are, then you had better really think about that one!

If you remember the post on the love bank you will know why I am encouraging you to think. Just the same as doing things that your spouse appreciates is a deposit in the love bank- not doing things your spouse would appreciate and even expects can be a withdrawal.

No one is perfect. I realize we don't always do, say, think the things our spouse wants us to. In marriage we learn as we go and we do it together.

Here is something that will hopefully help you to be on the right track in what you are doing or giving for Valentines Day.

First-do you know your spouses love language?

1. do they like it when you make the bed, make them treats, pack them lunch, take out the garbage? -they are an ACTS OF SERVICE PERSON

2. do they like back rubs, foot rubs, kissing, intimacy (a lot)-physical stuff? -THEY ARE A PHYSICAL TOUCH PERSON.

3. do they like gifts, flowers, treats that you buy just for them? -THEY ARE A RECEIVING GIFTS PERSON.

4. do they like notes, texts, emails, vocal praise, gratitude? -THEY ARE A WORDS OF AFFIRMATION PERSON.

5. do they want to do things together, talk, watch a movie, go places together? -THEY ARE A QUALITY TIME PERSON.

Some of us might be a bit of all these things. The idea is to pick the one that sounds the most like your spouse and do/give something under that category to them for Valentines.

Here is an idea for each category:

1. breakfast in bed

2. send a text, hide a note in their lunch or in their shoe that invites them to some pamper time by you, just for them. "you and me, our room 8 o' clock?"

3. buy them something they have mentioned they want. it could be flowers, razors, cologne, lotion or even their favorite candy bar. A simple, I thought of you today and thought you might like this goes a long way. (that means you really have to be thinking of them though! :))

4. Write up "The Top 10 Reasons Why I LOVE YOU"

5. Give them quality time with just you. A true quality time person would love advance notice so they can look forward to it. (like I have been looking forward to my date with Zach tonight for like a week and a half! -yeah, like that! :))

You've still got time! Do something!

Your Valentine's Date

First off, Valentines is 12 days away! Now would be a good time to decide who is in charge of planning the date! (whether you will go out Friday or Monday..)

So, the other night I asked Zach, "so, whose in charge of planning our Valentines date?" He responded with, "is this a trick question". Poor guy. If I hadn't been in a good mood there might not have been a right answer to that question! :)

There are so many fun things to do! Here's an idea, if you haven't come up with something already. And let me say this, it doesn't have to be complicated if you don't want to. I just think we all should take every chance we have to show our spouse we love em'. that's all I'm sayin'. :)

THE DINNER DATE

* invite your spouse to a dinner date. treat your date(not your spouse) (-I mean evening together, let's not be confused. I am not saying go out with someone else. :)) - like a 4 or 5 course meal. So, no matter what you are doing -going out or staying home- approach it this way.

example:

Go totally romantic

(appetizer)1st: dinner by candlelight (with your love songs for background music)

(salad)2nd: dance by candlelight

(bread)3rd: oil massage

(main course)4th: {insert what comes to mind:)}

(dessert)5th: have dessert and relax

Slip a note/invitation under the door, leave it in their brief case, lunch box, have the secretary in his office give it to him or mail it. do this a few days before. anticipation is a lovely thing. use it to your advantage. ;) If you wanted to, you could send one course invitation for five days up until the date.

Invitation Example

"A Night to Remember" (-that sounds like a prom theme. oh well. :))

You are sincerely invited to the best date ever!

Time: 6:00-whenever

Dinner will be served.

(appetizer)1st: dinner by candlelight {insert menu if you want to}

(salad)2nd: dance by candlelight

(bread)3rd: oil massage

(main course)4th: {insert what comes to mind:)}

(dessert)5th: {insert name of dessert}

"Will you be mine Valentine?"

No plans?

Plan a Valentines party. Invite some friends over, have treats, play games. End early so you have some quality time your spouse. All your friends have plans? Invite an older couple over for some fun!