it's a thankful party!

hello there!

my apologies for not posting.  i have missed it.  i have had a bit of a struggle with well, doing everything.  consistency and i are still working out our relationship.  not only that though, i should be honest.  i have't felt like i've had much to write.  i think i've starved my inspiration for this blog.  i've been very child centered and haven't focussed enough on my own growth & how i can be a better wife. (not completely negligent, just not enough to feel like i have the energy to be uplifting)  therefore, i haven't had much to write.

it is easy, very easy to be child centered when you have an adorable baby and three kiddos in your charge for their primary educational learning.  i'm still figuring out the balance.  i've recently decided that i'm going to need to rise in the wee, wee hours of the morning to get my scripture study in.  otherwise, i get a verse or two when i'm nursing.  that isn't exactly study.

oh, anyway.  as a writer i know that one of the keys to get the writer juices flowing is to simply, write.

so, here i am, writing, finally.  it feels good.

my thoughts for apples this week stem from thankful month.  being thankful daily has been really great for me.  i have written what i'm thankful for on FB and it has lifted my spirits.  because i think all day about what i'm grateful for.  that's good medicine.

do you think you could find something to be grateful for everyday?  something specific?  something about your spouse?  not just, "i'm grateful for him/her".  specific things like, "i'm grateful for your hug this morning" or "that you got up today even though you were tired and you had a good attitude".

could you tell them everyday what you are grateful for?

this doesn't need to be complicated.  i am a believer that things of this nature, gratitude specifically actually relieve stress and our burdens don't seem so heavy.

my challenge to all of us is this:

everyday, pay attention.  think of your spouse often throughout the day.  what have they done that you appreciate? what are you grateful for?  why are you grateful to be married them?

text them.  email them.  call them. write it down and stick it somewhere they will find it.  send them a card/note with the top ten things you're grateful for.

if you get mad/upset/hurt feelings/disappointed/discouraged, count your blessings until you feel better.  pray for help to see the blessings or to understand their point of view or good intentions. 

just so you know, i have done this before.  it really helps.

can you do this everyday?  will you?  

i will.

Remember.

Memory is such a gift.  I watched my Grandma loose her memory.  It hurt when she didn't know my name anymore.  The very last time I saw her, I talked to her and looked in her eyes.  I knew her Spirit was there and she knew me.  She couldn't talk to me then, but I knew she heard me.  That is one my sweetest and most special experiences.  I love my Grandma.
She left my Grandpa behind.  He aches for her so much.  They are an outstanding example to me of a good marriage.  Two of my sisters and I went to visit Grandpa just a week or so ago.  We were asking him if he would make it up to the cabin this summer.

Now this cabin that i refer to was a vision that was shared by my Grandparents.  They gave their family a gift by building it.  They truly built it together.  It has been several years since my Grandpa has been able to work on it.

In response to the question he said.  "when you're building something, it gets into your blood.  When you're finished, its not as much fun anymore."

Immediately I thought of marriage.  When you are working on it, its everything.  When you stop working on it, it isn't something you enjoy.

Marriage doesn't always have to be a chore.  We can keep our motivation up with a vision of the gift we will give our family by building a great marriage. -not to mention our own joy and fulfillment in this life and the next!!!

My Grandparents loved working on that cabin in large part because they knew it would bless generations.  This is so incredibly true!  But an even bigger blessing was the marriage they built.  Now that blessing spans eternities.

Blood, sweat and probably tears went into that cabin and the same is surely true about their marriage.  I'm so glad they didn't give up.

I will follow in their footsteps and work at what is important to me.  I will remember why it's important.

try these apples...if you dare!

we are probably the only family who is enjoying the Olympics...the t.v. is almost always on...which is not normal here.  we just really like it.

so, i say, "try these apples...if you dare!"

in my opinion, it is hard to remember to be sweet, considerate, encouraging, loving...etc, when i am totally engrossed in something else.

August is a big month around here...especially this year.  Zach's birthday, Sarah's birthday and the angel-versary of Lily (for more on this, go HERE).  i have a lot of projects that i'm working on and that is on top of everything else.

but, i am working on acting out my priorities.  they can't be my priorities if i don't act like it, right?

so, apples.

*touch in passing as often as you pass.  touch while talking if possible or make it possible.
(that touch forms a connection, our connections need to be continually strengthened)

*write a love note, funny joke, compliment on the mirror.

*make a surprise visit to their office.  check if their schedule is clear first!

*lights out night(if you dare!)-if you have kids include them.  don't use any power during dinner or after.  go to bed without any power.  after the kids are in bed...no electronics!  play games by lantern or anything else fun you can think of! (um, this is emergency training!)

*help them with something they've had on their list to do..that they don't want to do or don't have time for...do it for them or help them.

*take a walk outside after dinner.  talk.  or don't.


"Thank God for the joys of family life.  I have often said there can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences and associations of life are there"
-Ezra Taft Benson (God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [1974], 178).

date night baby!

this week is my date night to plan.  we are doing the parade thing with family...so, i'm going to use them for a babysitter.

we'll do the parade, take the kids back to my parents and then walk to Dairy Queen.  there is nothing quite like a blizzard...unless its a blizzard with zach!

what are you doing?

It's Friday!!

It's Friday! I hope you do something fun with your family and especially your spouse tonight!

Even though this is a busy time of year, try and make sure you do those things that slow you down...like taking pictures, saying please and thank you and watching the faces of those around you.

Have a great weekend!

Now would be a good time

to make a list of all the great things you would like to do this month and mark it down! It seems if I don't write it down, I forget, if we don't make it a priority, it won't happen.

This habit is essential in the blessed time of year! So, get out your calendar, get out your bank statement and figure out how much money you have and what you are gonna do!

I love, love, love December! Here's to a lot of time snuggling by the fire, and enjoying as many sights and sounds we can!...without the exhaustion, contention and chaos. Good goals huh?

What do you enjoy the most about this time of year?

Happy THANKSgiving!!!

The apple for the day is: remember to take pictures! ...not just of the food but of your family. AND get a picture of you and your spouse!!! Yes, ask someone to take it.

Enjoy this wonderful holiday.

In the beginning...RESERVED

Well if the Bible talks about "the beginning" so often then well, maybe what happens in the beginning is important. In the beginning, there was a plan and the plan was carried out.

It is the beginning of a new month. School just started and schedules are reinstated. It's the perfect time to pull out the calendar and RESERVE the days we want as a couple, family, etc. Mostly as a couple though-(this is a marriage blog :))

How many dates do you want out of the house?...with a babysitter? Do you want to go to the Temple? The R.S. meeting is this month(I know this isn't a couple thing but I'm super excited so Zach should be too!) What else do you want to do? Daddy daughter dates, Mother son, Family outings? Put it on the calendar and start calling the sitters! There is your apple!

It's going to be a great month! I love this time of year!!!

What to expect...:)

...when Becca's expecting? A whole month with not a single post!...laundry that stays in the baskets, kids wearing mismatched clothes, dishes left in the sink, and floors that might not have been scrubbed recently. (I'm sparing you the whole list. aren't I nice?)

Yep, we are expecting baby number 4 on Christmas day! Merry Christmas! :) Hopefully I hold true to previous experience and don't have this child on the due date. :) (I'm 17 weeks)

I plan to still post though...just not as often. Most days I'm doing good to keep me and the kids fed and the computer is never even turned on...

All is well though. We are way excited and at this point I am feeling lots better- thank goodness!

WARNING this is a soap box....

I was reading a marriage website the other day and saw a post about another website that promotes having an affair! UGH! Their big thing is, "life is short, have an affair". Okay does that even make any sense?!

I have thought of this periodically. Why would this appeal to SO many people?! There are 8.5 million members! CRAZY! (I did not go to the affair promoting site, I don't want to read that crap, I just read about it on the pro marriage site)

So the other day it occurred to me. I realize that idea is completely of the devil but where are the roots? What idea was planted and has been fed for so long to make people think it is okay and even a good thing?

Everyone has heard the saying, "the grass is greener on the other side" right? The other day I remembered a friend telling me of a conversation with some other women in her neighborhood about the characters in Twilight. Okay, not all the characters, just Edward and Jacob, the two main male characters that the main female character has to choose from. Well, one of these girls says, "if an Edward came along I would swoop him up in a heart beat!" What a horrible thing to say and horrible thought to entertain! You've already made your choice! It seems we battle with ingratitude on a regular basis. To be grateful or ungrateful, that is the question.

No wonder so many Prophets, if not all the Prophets talk about the importance of being grateful, developing an "attitude of gratitude"! No wonder.

It is kind of funny because we have all learned in one way or another that the grass really isn't always greener on the other side. There are so many things that go on in others' lives that we have no clue about. I have some talk's by Sheri Dew on CD and one thing that she says is, "I have never met anyone who was happier after they were unchaste, or disloyal or had an affair..." Isn't that the truth?! "Wickedness never was happiness"!

Gosh darn, if life is so short, have an affair with your spouse! Flirt, love, be secretive, call when you shouldn't, leave cute messages, meet them for lunch, make love during the day, go out on dates, meet at a hotel, buy them gifts, adore them, enjoy them etc! Focus where you promised to focus! You promised you would love them forever! Be loyal! Do it! Betcha they love you back and you love it!

What are your thoughts?

Posted by Becca :)

a fight worth fighting

Vince Lombardi had a saying, "the harder we fight for something, the harder it is to surrender"

I read this the other day and instantly thought of marriage.

One of my friends put a quote/statement on her Facebook the other day that went like this: "If you put something on the back burner it will grow cold".

I read this and instantly thought of marriage as well.

Isn't it the truth! We live in a time when, depending on where you live and who you know, you are ridiculed, belittled or sometimes people will even try and talk you out of getting married, starting a family, staying at home with your kids or providing for a family!

We MUST fight for what we want! If we want an eternal family, then we have to do what it takes to have one! This is not meant to be a passive thing! Faith is a principle of action. If we have faith in the promise that families can be together forever, then we must act like it!

If you'd like to read up on what we (as a church) believe; what we are counseled to do and the blessings that will come if we follow the counsel of Prophets, go HERE.

your wedding day!

How much time, thought, energy, etc did you put into planning your wedding? Think about it. You and yours spent quite a bit of time thinking of every little detail and then executing it, right? I loved it though! It was a lot I will admit while trying to keep my job at the same time but I loved it. I was so looking forward to the day and thinking about every detail made me giddy!

Friday we went to the Northern Utah Marriage Celebration held at Weber State. There were 4 workshops and at the end of the evening the keynote speakers were John and Kim Bytheway. Gosh, we had a great time! We learned some good stuff too. Zach missed his Elders Quorum b-ball game for it. This is HUGE I want you to know! :) (I think he was secretly embarrassed to be going to this instead of to his ball game, but in the end he was glad he went-don't tell him I said that!)

Quoting from John-"it has been said that most people spend more time planning their wedding day than they do their marriage."

Yes, I realize that planning ahead means being proactive and thinking about the future. But I will also point out that even though it is crazy planning a wedding, we still found time to do that!

So, what kind of life do you want? No, I am not asking what about the vacations you want to take together or what you want to do when you are 50 exactly. I am asking what you want the day to day to be like. Those decisions shape the future. Do you want to have a happy home filled with fun and laughter? Do you want to be loving, kind and romantic? Do you want to be adventurous together by trying new things or enjoying hobbies or outdoor recreation together? Do you want to be faithful, attending church, Temple and holding regular FHE, scripture study and prayer?

There are probably a host of other questions I could spout but this has really gotten me thinking. I was picky about certain things when I was the bride to be. I thought about details and I wanted things a specific way. I made lists, discussed them with Zach and so on.

Life, if we are going to have it as close to the way we want it, then we are going to have to plan for it. This discussion might just be more important than a favorite T.V. show. Just sayin'. :)

Well, that's more like a fruit basket than AN APPLE :)

we can give children roots and wings!

I enjoyed reading THIS sweet talk. He talked about a few different things but the thing I pulled out was the importance of the Temple. The apple for today is: talk to your spouse and decide on the next time you will attend the Temple together. Put it on the calendar! Keep this date!

I recently stood in a house of the Lord with a worthy couple there to receive blessings by covenant. I invited them to make their first honeymoon last 50 years, then after 50 years to begin their second honeymoon.

I found myself looking with this beautiful couple into the temple mirrors—one mirror on this side, one mirror on that side. Together the temple mirrors reflect back and forth images that stretch seemingly into eternity.

Temple mirrors of eternity remind us that each human being has “divine nature and destiny”; that “sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally”;⁴ and that, growing together in love and faithfulness, we can give children roots and wings.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, . . .

“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”¹⁷

I humbly witness: God lives. He “shall wipe away all tears from [our] eyes”¹⁸—except the tears of joy when we see through temple mirrors of eternity and find ourselves home, pure and clean, our family generations sealed by priesthood authority in love, to shout, “Hosanna, hosanna, hosanna.” In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Never.

I didn't make it to the Relief Society meeting this time and I was seriously bummed. It was my lack of planning that didn't get me there too. That was the real bummer.

Tonight I read THIS talk, Charity Never Faileth by President Monson and it made me cry. I love that man! The talk isn't long but here are a few quotes from it.

"I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.

Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.

Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out."

I have been thinking about charity lately and that is probably why this talk hit my like it did. If I can have charity as a mother and a wife, then I won't fail! I don't want to let my family down. More than anything I don't want to let my Heavenly Father down. I want to do all I can. I guess that's why Moroni says "pray with all the energy of your heart that you may be filled with this love".

These quotes I have copied are WONDERFUL marriage advice! I hope we will all do better at loving and not judging in our marriages! I am so grateful for a Prophet!

It's not about...

...the FROG!

When we were camping a few weeks ago we went for a hike. We passed a river and we spotted a frog. The kids were so excited to catch a frog and to watch him jump and swim!

When I got home and was looking through our pictures I realized I did not get a single picture of the kids! I only took them of the frog!

I am an analogy person so bear with me!

How often am I so focussed on what I am doing that I forget who I am doing it for? When we caught the frog, it wasn't for the frog, it was for the kids. What did they learn from the experience? Did they enjoy themselves?

The same is true with everything in life. We need to remember the purpose behind the things we are doing. Why do we take the kids to school? Are they learning that it is okay to be angry at our family when we are late or that we can yell when they can't find their shoes? It isn't about what we are doing but what we are teaching our kids when we do it.

Life is about individuals and loving and really, it isn't about the frog but what we do when we catch it. :)

Even though this was kind of more about parenting it totally relates to marriage too.

The Apple of the day is: when you are with your spouse today or tonight, stop and think about how this time could be made better. Do they need to know how awesome they are? Do they need you to tackle them to the floor and kiss them? Do they need a good laugh? Enjoy your time, even if it is for a moment!

"Remember"

Today I can't get THIS out of my head!

I still remember what I was doing, where I went and who I talked to about it.

I still remember I was at work that afternoon and President Bush came on the radio and asked all of America to turn to the Lord and get down on our knees and pray. I was so moved and still am! He is a good man and the perfect President for the time! HERE is the video of you want to watch it.

We spent some time talking to the kids about why there was a flag in our front yard and how a lot of mom's and dad'd, grandma's and grandpa's died that day nine years ago.

We went to the park this afternoon and while the kids played, I watched and thought. One thing kept going through my head.

"Show that you remember the lives that were lost, by the way you live yours."

My heart aches for the many losses that have happened since and because of that day.

I hope and pray that all of us will live in gratitude for all and WHO we have been given. We are so blessed!

What were you doing that day? What are you grateful for?

"Always Building"

Okay, okay! It has been forever but I have NOT given up! :) I am ready to post baby!

We just got back from a lovely time at our family cabin! This cabin was built by my mom, my grandparents, her siblings and all their spouses. I have heard her say more than once that they have never stopped building it. They are always working on something!

I lay there one night looking at the wood walls and thinking about how carefully they planned and started to think.. There are five kids in her family. What if they all had a different cabin in mind and they all just did what they wanted? They all agreed on the style, the plan and then worked together to accomplish it! What a wonderful recipe for a successful marriage!

My grandparents set a goal to build a cabin for their family. If they had not set the goal it would not have happened. I can not even begin to explain the type of blessing this has been to our family! It is a breath of fresh air to be there! They did more than set the goal, they acted on it!

What are your goals? Which one are you working on?

Apple of the day? Talk to your spouse about this! Write em' down, hang em' on your wall! Start working on one! Have fun! We should always be building!

In the blink of an eye

2009, suffice it to say, it was a busy year for our family.

We had a baby.

Our little girl took ADD medicine and spent a few days in the hospital "recovering" and we were scared out of our minds!

Zach had pneumonia and it wasn't just any pneumonia, it was bacterial and it could have been deadly...like the next day he could have died if we hadn't gone into the ER when we did.

I think about that experience probably not often enough. He was not sick or coughing before, he just suddenly came down with a fever. A fever of 104 +. In June he had a similar thing happen, he went to the ER and they sent him home, no tests, nothing. We were tempted to stay home this time. If we had, pneumonia would have gotten into his blood and there would have been no stopping it.

Everyday matters. If I always loved him and my kids like there was no tomorrow, we would be a lot happier. The house might not be as clean, but you know.

I guess I've just been thinking a lot about life and how really, you just never know. I am grateful (for lack of a better word) that Zach is still a part of my life. Gosh, I hate to think of losing him.

Here's a quote from a marque that came to mind. "Love is friendship set to music". It hit the spot for me. When Zach and I started dating it was just sweet and is still.

"An apple a day"

Turn on "your song" or another sweet song and dance...in front of the kids!