try these apples...if you dare!

we are probably the only family who is enjoying the Olympics...the t.v. is almost always on...which is not normal here.  we just really like it.

so, i say, "try these apples...if you dare!"

in my opinion, it is hard to remember to be sweet, considerate, encouraging, loving...etc, when i am totally engrossed in something else.

August is a big month around here...especially this year.  Zach's birthday, Sarah's birthday and the angel-versary of Lily (for more on this, go HERE).  i have a lot of projects that i'm working on and that is on top of everything else.

but, i am working on acting out my priorities.  they can't be my priorities if i don't act like it, right?

so, apples.

*touch in passing as often as you pass.  touch while talking if possible or make it possible.
(that touch forms a connection, our connections need to be continually strengthened)

*write a love note, funny joke, compliment on the mirror.

*make a surprise visit to their office.  check if their schedule is clear first!

*lights out night(if you dare!)-if you have kids include them.  don't use any power during dinner or after.  go to bed without any power.  after the kids are in bed...no electronics!  play games by lantern or anything else fun you can think of! (um, this is emergency training!)

*help them with something they've had on their list to do..that they don't want to do or don't have time for...do it for them or help them.

*take a walk outside after dinner.  talk.  or don't.


"Thank God for the joys of family life.  I have often said there can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences and associations of life are there"
-Ezra Taft Benson (God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [1974], 178).

Well hello there!

I have gotten off my posting groove these days and I'm sorry! I have been keeping up on my own apples around here though. Happy to report. :)

How have you been?

I hope you had a chance to take a listen to Matt's recording. Did you? By yourself or with your spouse?

At the seminar we purchased his book and a CD about differences. Both are wonderful! I am excited to get going with his online helps!

Seriously, reading his book has been an eye opener. He has some very practical and deep insights that make a TON of sense!

I am reading four books at the moment...wait, maybe more. So, I haven't finished Matt's yet but I REALLY like it!

We decided at the end of January to Homeschool our kids. Yeah, I have had my hands full as of late. I have been doing a lot of reading, planning, creating, teaching, and laughing...I might have cried some too. Aw, well its all good.

Here are some apples we have been trying around here.

*Notes on our bathroom mirror.
*Mailed a thoughtful letter to Zach's office
*Sweet texts
*At FHE this week when we were all saying what we had going on, Zach said he was going to take me on a date. That was an apple for me!
*Zach has helped me a lot around the house....
*That frees up some time for one on one. :)
*Sitting and chatting after the kids are in bed.
*Laughing together at the comics. -there have been some pretty alright ones lately.
*It's March Madness-so we talk and watch sports!
*We went to the Temple, ate lunch in the cafeteria and then walked around the Temple grounds after. I love this warm weather!
*An apple for me that Zach has done several times since we decided to Homeschool is, he has supported me behind my back. -while talking to other people he has pointed out my strengths and talked about what a great job I'm already doing. He has also been very encouraging to my face as well. It means a lot.

This might be a little bit of overload but hopefully these will give you some ideas of what you can do today!...and tomorrow.

Would you like to add to this list? I know you have been doing some great things for your spouse lately! What do you have brewing so your spouse feels LUCKY? Let's hear it!

Wow.

Well uh, it has been a little nuts around here. Sometimes, (when I get a minute) I sit back and think "gosh, what hit me?"

It just seems like there are always those "normal" things that keep me busy and then there is "craziness" that occurs out of no where!

Sorry for the lack of writing...especially during love month!!! Gee!

Since I'm getting geared up for another week of who knows what, here are some "apples" all in one post. I hope you're ready! :)

*hide notes in their shirt pocket, purse, makeup bag, shoes, wallet, dashboard, steering wheel, windshield wiper, etc.

*use that handy dry erase marker for mirrors or windshield's or side car window's.

*if you mail a card Monday it could get to the office or home by Tuesday. It can be a card expressing love and appreciation or inviting them out for a date.

*have love songs playing when they come home for the night. dance to a few.

*write them a poem.

*make them a coupon book or better yet, put those coupon things on the calendar. Some coupon type things may include:
-wash and vacuum car
-night off for you (go with your girl/guy friends or someplace else...that isn't the store)
-Temple night
-date night (bowling, dinner at_____ or ice skating)
-i'm on laundry duty this week
-i'll do dinner tonight
-you read, I'll put the kids in bed
-you and me tonight, no interruptions
(hopefully that gets your mind working)

*candle light dinner with or without the kids, just do it!

*cut out hearts and tape them everywhere. Put nice things you love about them on them. Or just put them in one specific spot and give them "a heart attack".

*do little favors for them and leave a heart behind that says "I did this because I love you" or simply, "I love you".

*if you aren't a lovey person make a special effort to be better. Hold their hand, kiss when they leave or come home or for no reason, touch them when you walk by...

*listen to what they say and work to be a better support with what they have going on. If they aren't talking, then ask.

*call at least once a day and say "i love you".

*make a top ten reasons why I'm glad you're my Valentine.

*show up to their office or home with a gift...not on Valentines day.

*text or email everyday, something specific that you love or appreciate about them.

*tell them and show them that they are a priority to you. let the laundry go, turn off the phone or the computer and be with your spouse.

What are some "apples" you do for your spouse?...especially around Valentines Day?
Do you take turns planning a date? Do you go out or stay home? Do you do anything different?

I love any occasion that adds variety to my life! I am a big fan of holidays, they help me think outside my daily box. I hope your week is a great one!

You may wonder.

where the heck I've been this month and well, you might not. :) I am not exactly sure to be honest. :)
I just thought I would check in though and fill you in on what life looks like, well a little peak at least.
I think I've been in denial that it is actually December. I might have dragged my feet a bit in my Christmas time preparations. Yeah, dragged is a good word.
We are almost done though and that's a relief to say!

When life gets busy I really try hard to remember an apple a day. It has been harder than I had planned to post about them though.
Zach is busy in December with work and then Scouts and I am up to my chin in everything else. It is nice to have things to do.
When things get crazy I'm doing good to get one note, maybe two, a week in a lunch for Zach. On days (like today) that I am relieved he is home so I can go lay down; I take a deep breath and kiss him for as long as he'll let me or until we both burst into laughter at our children's comments. :)
I need to do better at just asking for what I need and not hinting at it. :) And also getting to bed at a decent hour so I don't have headaches and I am actually okay with getting up in the morning!
With all we have going on, we are enjoying hot chocolate, cuddles by the fire and stories with the kids by candle light.
I really do love this time of year!

What have your apples been lately?

some days...

you see your spouse a lot and other days you really don't. those are the days you just do the best you can to make the most of the time you have.

the last few days have been that way for Zach and I.

yesterday I thought about what Nephi said a lot...."and it came...to pass."

Remembering that seasons/times in my life won't last forever somehow makes it easier to keep going.

I do have to say I LOVED this apple that Zach did for me the other day. I was doing the dinner dishes and he came up beside me and said "can I take over?", "do you want to go read or something?" I couldn't help but grin! "heck yeah!" I was thinking. :)

Although you have minimal time sometimes, there is still always time for kindness and courtesy.

Hope that gives you an idea for an apple today. :)

"Happiness runs...

...in a circular motion, life is just a little boat upon the sea. Everybody is a part of anything anyway. You can be happy if you let yourself be."

So I was standing in the shower and letting the water hit the top of my head. I slowly put my head down so the water would hit the back of my neck. It was weird but when my head was up, the water was soft and quiet but as I put my head down it got louder and harder on my neck. You know what came to my mind? The conference talk "It's better to look up!". It was a hard day and that's why I was taking forever in the shower all the while Sarah was drawing with marker all over legs and Josh was sleeping on the floor...:)

I don't know how many of you use Google reader but I put ideas on the top of the blog for additional apples to do...so here are last weeks. :)

*buy them a little somethin', like a CD or a key chain, *go to bed when they do *doodle on your love notes, with hearts and kiss the paper with lipstick, *show support for what they are doing by not complaining. *dance

Hope your day is awesome!

schedule your apples!

I thought I'd try something different this week and give you some apples in a bunch...that way you can schedule them into your week and be sure to do one a day!

*send them an email or text with something you are grateful for of what they did that morning or something about who they are. Doesn't have to be serious. It could be, "thanks for taking out the garbage this morning" or "I am so grateful for your nice muscles! They are such HUGE a blessing!":)

*while eating dinner go around the table and say what you are grateful for that day.

*mail a card to their office-funny or serious expressing gratitude.

*spend a special time with your spouse and just talk. if they need coaxing then make a treat or play a card game while you talk.

*ask them if you can do anything to help them this week or during that day.

*cook a favorite meal, call them and tell them what you made and that you made it just for them

*initiate love making. it seems like things just go better around here when...well, never mind. :) Anyway, love them like they want to be loved.

Have a great week!

"come back"

Once upon a time when I was a new mother I read a lot of books about children, schedules, etc. Well, I remember reading that a schedule is like an elastic. You establish the schedule and then when you go on vacation or you have a lot going on and it gets screwed up, or stretches like an elastic, you come home and get back into your schedule just like the elastic comes back to it's regular shape.

I've been thinking about how marriage is kind of like that. Life gets hard, busy, etc. We get stretched out and sometimes distant with each other. When it is minor we don't really notice it and then all of a sudden we realize we aren't talking as much, flirting as much and flat out aren't enjoying our time together as much. The key is to clue in on the things that help us "come back" to our original shape.

Zach and I talked about this the other night. There are things that help us "come back" that make a huge difference.

The biggest one is praying together every night holding hands. This helps us come back in a powerful way.

Other things on the list are:

*going on a date

*going to the Temple

*going for a walk

*playing a game together

*doing a project together

*a quality conversation without distractions -no phones, t.v. or children

It seems the more we do of the above things, other things come more naturally. Things like notes in his lunch, a hug and a kiss when he comes home, flirting, laughing, and general enjoyment being together.

What are some things you do that help you and your spouse "come back" together?

ASAP

As soon as you get home today, or the very first moment you see your spouse next - don't say anything, just run over to them, literally and give them a big kiss on the lips. How did they react? I bet they like it. Remember - don't wait, do it ASAP as soon as you see them next no matter where you are. Leave a comment with how they responded....please.

a happier you

The apple for the day is: make your bed!

I read somewhere the other day that your sleep improves when you make your bed. I know I'm a happier person when I get some good sleep and if a happy me doesn't improve my marriage...I don't know what does! :)

what else makes you happy? or what is that thing that if it isn't done, makes you crazy? (like clutter, that's mine. If it's organized clutter that's better.)

oh that's funny...

Sometimes life can just be serious. I don't know how I really manage to be serious with three kids but I do. I have to work a little harder and remembering to laugh.

So, the apple for the day is: find something to laugh about with your spouse. Consider purchasing a joke book. (Abraham Lincoln read a joke a day) Or spend some time on YouTube and listen to kids laughing. There is always THIS one that I find quite comical.

What do you do to break up the ordinary and get a good laugh with your spouse?

of all the apples...

I am out of my habit of posting...well, that was obvious!

As I sit down ready to type a million "apples" are going through my head and I can't decide on one.

Zach comes home from scout camp today! This girl vacuumed, washed our sheets, made our bed and even scrubbed the kitchen sink! I've spent the last few days at my parents house and so we will all come home to a clean house...which I pretty much love. :)

It has been quite the week without him but I'm glad I wasn't home for most of it because that seems to make it worse for me.

Before he left I cried. I simply said, "don't mind me and my hormones" and cried some more. :) As I look at me from an outside perspective, it is quite comical to see the things that make me cry and what I say when I'm crying. Bless my patient man!

Once upon a time on Thursday's I would post a date idea...

What are you going to do this weekend?

the trend

So, that marriage seminar thing we went to a few weeks ago...

John Bytheway and Kim (his wife) talked about something that made a lot of sense to me.

Appreciate/Expect/Demand

This rang true with me. Most of the time I appreciate it when Zach takes out the garbage, but sometimes I expect it, or even demand it.

Zach is better than me in a lot of cases and this is one of them. I am traditional by my point of view and non-traditional to many in the role I have chosen to stay home with our children, clean house, fix dinners etc. Zach appreciates that I make dinner for him and is very good at saying thank you for what I do.

Today, the apple is to pay attention to the things you appreciate, expect and demand of your spouse. Make a special effort to appreciate the things they do. Have a great day!

See how wonderful he is? Gosh, I am lucky!

How do I look?

I had to laugh the other day when I looked in the mirror shortly before Zach came home.

Yes, I did get ready that day but I still had mascara under my eyes and food in my teeth. The thought I had was, why don't I look in the mirror everyday before Zach comes home?

I'm not kidding when I say that "I'm so glad when daddy comes home" is pretty much my theme song. I thought it quite comical that this was a bright idea, to freshen up before he came home! It probably should have been a habit years ago!

Therefore, that is the apple for the day: look in the mirror before you get home or before your spouse comes home! brush your hair and a bonus would be the teeth or at least pop in a mint or something!

Because lets be honest. Things don't always smell good and they aren't always pretty during the day!

this is why...

this is why this blog is good for me. i sit here at my computer wanting some inspiration. what can i do for Zach today? i'm in love with that man.

*wash our sheets?

*tidy our room?

*it's Tuesday, he isn't going to be home all day. sending him a love email would be nice.

I think that is a good list. what apples are you going to try?

Don't stop!

If your Valentines day was wonderful...then keep the ball rollin'! Keep leaving those notes around the house, sending sweet texts, emails and messages on Facebook! Give them a nice greeting when you get home. Keep using those conversation hearts until they run out and doing love hunts with your kids... and so on!

Now, if your Valentines day wasn't that great don't lose hope! :) You can always declare yourselves another one!

And if the ball never started rollin', then give it a push! Leave the sweet notes and messages and give them a good long hug and kiss when you see them next!

Sweet love isn't only for Valentines Day and no one ever said you can only have ONE APPLE A DAY! :)

T.I.M.E

"Love is really spelled T -I -M- E"

The apple for the day is: however much time you have together make it quality. the end.

what is quality time to you?

Oh, I wish!

I wish I could make every post individual. I wish I could post what every person needed!

I found THIS wonderful website over the weekend and I love it! Check it out!

http://strongermarriage.org/

The apple for the day is: read an article or two with your spouse or tell them about what you read!

History repeats itself.

It's Monday. The start of a new week. Anything you wanted to different from last week? If you don't like the way things went, then now would be a good time to do things differently.

The apple for the day is: talk to your spouse about expectations for the week. Plan out your week together. Don't forget to plan a date and time to talk -ask them if you can help them in anyway.

This was suggested in THIS article in THIS post. I hung up this list and it has been a nice reference!

How to make your marriage GREAT!

This article was mentioned in the January Ensign and I couldn't resist looking it up. It is called "Twenty Ways to Make a Good Marriage Great" You know, I was two when he wrote this!

The apple for the day is: follow the above link, print the page and tape it or frame it and put it up for you and your spouse to see! That's what I did. Oh, don't forget to read it!