an anniversary date!

well, since the anniversary is a special day & we celebrated ours two days after Reddick was born, I'm a little slow at posting about it.
this year...we did nothing!  we may have kissed.  we may have watched a video & i fell asleep.  i did write Zach a super sweet note.  he made me breakfast in bed...because it was mother's day too.  this is probably not at all helpful. :)

here are a couple of our favorite lower budget anniversary celebrations we've had.  hold on to your hats!...or your glasses.  apples for non anniversary celebrators at the end. :)

try these apples...if you dare!

we are probably the only family who is enjoying the Olympics...the t.v. is almost always on...which is not normal here.  we just really like it.

so, i say, "try these apples...if you dare!"

in my opinion, it is hard to remember to be sweet, considerate, encouraging, loving...etc, when i am totally engrossed in something else.

August is a big month around here...especially this year.  Zach's birthday, Sarah's birthday and the angel-versary of Lily (for more on this, go HERE).  i have a lot of projects that i'm working on and that is on top of everything else.

but, i am working on acting out my priorities.  they can't be my priorities if i don't act like it, right?

so, apples.

*touch in passing as often as you pass.  touch while talking if possible or make it possible.
(that touch forms a connection, our connections need to be continually strengthened)

*write a love note, funny joke, compliment on the mirror.

*make a surprise visit to their office.  check if their schedule is clear first!

*lights out night(if you dare!)-if you have kids include them.  don't use any power during dinner or after.  go to bed without any power.  after the kids are in bed...no electronics!  play games by lantern or anything else fun you can think of! (um, this is emergency training!)

*help them with something they've had on their list to do..that they don't want to do or don't have time for...do it for them or help them.

*take a walk outside after dinner.  talk.  or don't.


"Thank God for the joys of family life.  I have often said there can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from a good home.  The sweetest influences and associations of life are there"
-Ezra Taft Benson (God, Family, Country: Our Three Great Loyalties [1974], 178).

take your pick!

HERE'S YOUR PICK OF APPLES!...or at least some to get you thinking!

*give them a compliment you don't usually give.  think about it.  what is something you like about the way they dress/ make the bed/ serve dinner/ park their car/ play with the kids?  make it specific!  say it!

*when you are out and about, pick them up something small.  gosh, it melts my heart when Zach says, "I picked this up for you today".  *sigh.

*after the kids are in bed, take a gander outside together.  hold hands.  talk.

*take turns. if your spouse planned the date last week, you're it!

*call and check in during the day.  a simple, "just thinking about you and how much i appreciate you in my life", will do just fine!

*kiss em good and long when they get home...extra credit if you pop a mint first!

*vacuum their car /make the bed- lift their load somehow.

Being married has serious benefits.  One of which, "love is like jam, you can't spread it without getting some on yourself."  sticky is good. :)

here we go!

it feels good to be blogging some apples again!  here are some ideas for the week!

*flip a coin for who's planning date night for the week (that includes getting the sitter)

*do they have something big going on? -with work, with the kids?  make a point to ask them about it and give them your undivided attention while they are talking.

*make a meal that you have together even more special by making the table and food look that way.  go the extra mile and put a note under their plate or use special dishes.

*when you meet after some time a part, be sure to say something positive first. ie. "i'm glad you're home.", "i've looked forward to you coming home all day", "i've missed you", "thanks for working so hard", "having you home is a breath of fresh air".  ONLY say things if you mean it!  BUT, there is always something nice you can say!...think first.

*put a note in a random place that says something specific you love/appreciate about them. (on their steering wheel, bathroom mirror, shower wall, in their shoe..etc.)

*next time you are watching t.v. together, ask them if they'd like a foot, back, shoulder massage while you watch.

*ask them if they need you to do anything for them that day or this week.  then do it!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!  HERE'S TO A HEALTHIER MARRIAGE!

make time!

"Love is really spelled T.I.M.E." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

How do you make time for your spouse?

If Zach has worked late, I will wait to eat dinner with him. We can enjoy dinner by ourselves and visit. If the kids want his attention, we set the timer and say they can have him when it beeps but it is mom's turn.

My apple for the day is: let Zach have some time for himself when he gets home. Zach is a hot commodity at our house and he really doesn't get a break until the kids are in bed. (which is at least by 8, don't feel too bad for him. :)) After a long day at work I would be willing to bet he'd like 15 minutes to lay down before he gets jumped on.

my favorite day!

Friday's are my favorite day because I look forward to them. (maybe I should look forward to everyday and then they'd all be my favorite. now that's a thought.)

I LOVE. IT. when Zach is home! When I have my family around and we can do what we feel like or what we've planned...sometimes they're the same thing. :)

I'm glad I have a date to look forward to! I love that.

My apple for the day: get ready for my date. call my date and tell him he's hot. if he's busy I'll text him. go on my date. have a great time.

What are you going to do?

the moments matter

"moments are the molecules of eternity" -Elder Neil A. Maxwell

how much time will i see zach today? he has a full day at work and then i have plans tonight.

that is often how it goes you know? life gets busy and we don't see each other very much.

to make my time with him count, my apple for today will be: kiss hello and goodbye. pray for and with him. (that was two, oh well. :))

how do you make your time count when the days are long and busy?

Now would be a good time

to make a list of all the great things you would like to do this month and mark it down! It seems if I don't write it down, I forget, if we don't make it a priority, it won't happen.

This habit is essential in the blessed time of year! So, get out your calendar, get out your bank statement and figure out how much money you have and what you are gonna do!

I love, love, love December! Here's to a lot of time snuggling by the fire, and enjoying as many sights and sounds we can!...without the exhaustion, contention and chaos. Good goals huh?

What do you enjoy the most about this time of year?

remember the beginning?

Last week I mentioned what happens in the beginning. I am a believer (and I actually think I heard somewhere) that if the first five minutes of your day or first interaction with someone is sour-that's a preview of how the rest of the day will be. Yes, I've posted this before. It is something I need to remember so I'm posting it again.

So, the apple for the day is: start your day off with kind words. welcome your spouse home with a hug and a super. long. nice. kiss. And if something is on your mind that must be discussed, do it later. Make your first words nice words. Pay attention to the first five minutes and treat it carefully. Laugh, be understanding, appreciative, sweet...what else would you add to that list? What helps to make your time together better?

Here's to a good week. ;)

Seasons change.

Marriage is a lot like buying a house. When the seasons change you get surprised by what comes with it. Sometimes flowers pop up without you planting them and sometimes weeds do too.

Our job is to enjoy the flowers and work together to take care of the weeds.

Lets just remember the life is hard. Be kind to each other. Some days it feels like that is all you've got.

The apple for the day is: take a walk together. Enjoy the cooler weather or take a water bottle if it isn't cool yet. Hold hands and tell your spouse something you appreciate about them. -the walk doesn't have to be long, just go. Happy Friday. :)

I love long weekends!

Yesterday was Ben's last day of school so Zach took off work for his end of year program and now he doesn't have to work on Monday!!! This is cause in and of itself for a celebration!

I think all we'll do is go for a hike today, FINALLY plant the garden, visit a few grave sites and go to a family BBQ but it sounds so nice!

I hope you will have a fun weekend! Happy Memorial Day!

a special day

I know Saturday is a special day to get ready for Sunday.

Make it special and speed up your preparations and have some friends over for lunch! Or a widow or someone else you like. Do something different today that helps you switch your focus from you to them. If you read this early enough you will still have time to call them and invite them over. No big deal if it is just an hour before. They might not have plans. :)

It might even be a nice day for a picnic. It might. :)

enjoy!

I know I'm egg-cited for today! I love Easter egg hunts and quality time with my family!

Just enjoy your time together! Try not to rush it! Look at all the pretty flowers! Point them out to your kids. Take lots of pictures and don't forget to get one of you and your spouse! (that one often gets neglected :))

After this week you won't see the word egg-cited until next year. Good grief! :)

Remember when...

A couple weekends ago Zach took our boys on a father son's outing to our family cabin. They of course had a great time and our daughter and I, had a great time too.

The day they left I had a doctor appointment (no, I'm not pregnant). He called just after the time I should have been done to see how the appointment went. Small thing, but it really meant a lot to me.

Remembering the little things our spouse has going on and asking about them afterward can really go a long way. It shows you care, and with all you have going on, you are still thinking about them.

This is another reason why our planning time on Sunday is helpful. I write down things on my schedule that he has going on so I will remember and he does the same. There is less of the "you didn't tell me you had a girls night tonight! Sorry, I'm going with the guys." type of mix ups.

Anyway, the apple for the day is: call your spouse today just to check in. Ask them how things are going (and follow up on the specific things if you know of any). Just let them know you are thinking about them. Doesn't have to be a lengthy conversation and you can even leave a message. Just so they know you care.

Lucky Smoothie

I love themes, I love occasions, I just love any reason to change up the everyday!

It is lucky week! I am thinking green okay. How about you turn off the t.v. make a smoothie and then do something that makes you both feel lucky. Spend some quality time together. It is a lot more quality if the t.v. is off! There is your apple!

I feel so lucky to married to Zach! I really do!

We have so much fun together!

I'm also lucky that my kids have learned how to use the camera!

when the goin' gets tough.

This is a lesson from our two year old. He has been different in a lot of ways from our other two kids and has forced me to be creative with him. (hence the loaf of bread to himself and the orange to do with what he chooses. :))

Well, he has been saying "stupid" which is the "s word" at our house, among throwing tantrums, saying "I don't wanu" to about everything, etc. To try and smooth things over with him one day I tried something that shouldn't have been and epiphany.

I did what he loves. We played basketball. I am not kidding, we played for about an hour, with bouts of kicking the ball and playing catch and then basketball. I only enjoyed his company. What a delightful time we had. I think that was a huge deposit in his love bank. He apparently needed it.

What I learned from this is probably obvious. If we are having a rough time with our spouse, then we should probably take a step back and play. Think about something they love to do and express your desire to do it. Whatever it is. Make it your point to just enjoy them, especially if you don't enjoy their activity of choice. Enjoy your spouse and just play! There's the apple! Heck, make it your date night!

So this weekend if I wanted to make a deposit by doing something Zach loved, it would be watching college basketball while eating caramel popcorn. But then again, that isn't really playing, it's watching other people play. I guess after that I will beat him best out of three in ping pong. Then he'll want to play best out of five. :)

T.I.M.E

"Love is really spelled T -I -M- E"

The apple for the day is: however much time you have together make it quality. the end.

what is quality time to you?

in the red?

Have you ever heard of the "love bank" philosophy/analogy?

Well, I have been thinking about this the today. Last night Zach and I were going to spend some time together after the kids were in bed-talking about our week and such and so forth. (He started taking a class to get some letters after his name and it is going to take a lot of time and be a little crazy.-like three nights a week for three hours, plus study and tests, plus young mens kind of crazy.) So this time was important to both of us.

We email my brothers who are both on missions on Sunday. Zach sends them a sports update and I just email whatever I want. :) Anyway, he finished and I was working on my post for today...and then I had to email and I doddled and he went to bed without us even having our nice Sunday evening time. All because my priorities were out of order.

Talk about a withdrawal! I came to bed feeling bad. I climbed into bed and what does he do? He wakes up enough to wrap his arms around me and hold me before falling back to sleep. While he slept I thought of how lucky I am to be married to such a patient and forgiving guy! And I also thought about how I could make it up to him. That is where the love bank thing comes in.

Some withdrawals are little and some are big. We are best off realizing them for what they are and making deposits to build our love accounts back up.

If you have been married for a while then you have probably experienced a time or two that you were both on each others nerves, easily irritated or even hot headed with each other. These are times when you both can realize that there is a huge need for a deposit, or two, or three. :)

The apple for the day? Figure out what those deposits are! What does your spouse need and love? What do you need and love? Start making deposits today!

Maybe your love bank levels are low or are maybe in the red. You might not even feel like you can talk to your spouse about this...now would be a good time to try and experiment. Make some serious deposits. See what they do.

Sometimes when things aren't going the way we might want, it is hard not to be selfish and say that "they" need to put forth some effort too. This is true- they do. Be the first though.

Connectivity???

So, for the past few days there has been this tower frozen somewhere near our home that has caused our Internet to, well.....not work - at all. I mean - gosh, what is someone to do this day and age without internet.

I guess for us, we could get one of those cool phones that has internet on it.....but we aren't exactly wanting to do that yet. So, since Becca is limited to going to a neighbor or family members house....she called me and I get to come to the rescue with a marriage blog post!!! I'm sure you are ALL super excited?!

My post is on a simple gift - find one that your spouse might not expect and give it to her at random. Maybe even today. I got a few songs off of I-tunes that I knew she would like, put it on a playlist on her I-POD and let her know. She loved it! Well.....at least that is what she said.

Anyway - I never think our gifts need to be extreme or large to be good. Sometimes the smaller and more often the better. Time is usually the hardest one to give, uninterrupted with each other or something that you can do for one another that took time and a conscious effort to get it done. Then in the end, the KNOW you care and that you LOVE them.

If our internet starts working soon.....you may get another post before Christmas, if it doesn't......well I can't say I personally am going to promise another one. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS just in case.

um, a date huh.

If you haven't already noticed, I post some sort of date idea every Thursday. Well, it is Thursday and I don't really have anything clever. It is Halloween weekend. You probably have plans.

What do you like to do for Halloween?

If you don't have plans and you are staying home. Make some soup. Talk about your favorite Halloween traditions and tell stories.

Conversation starters:

*favorite Halloween costume?

*who took you trick-or-treating when you were little?

*when did you stop going trick-or-treating?

*did you ever get lost?

*what did you do with your candy when you got home?