the daily matters

Isn't this the truth?!  The daily, matters.  If we live for "events", then we've missed the point and wasted valuable time and opportunity.

The better we live each day with our spouse, the more we will love and look forward to the "events" and the better prepared we will be for the unexpected.

Why don't we drink from a cup with 7 straws?  Because it's actually more affective to drink from one.  Try it. :)

With 5 kids and now a puppy, it is way more affective to clean my house throughout the week than it is to do it all on one day.  Way more affective.  (Lets not give the wrong idea here...I don't clean my house alone.  I have a husband, 5 kids and a puppy.  We all clean it.)

Speaking of a puppy.  It is kind of critical to spend time everyday in play, exercise and training.  Yeah, if we waited until she was older, we'd have our work cut out for us and we'd enjoy her less in her puppy stage...and that would be sad.  She's adorable.

When I am loving Zach on purpose, it makes the days way better and the events are much more fun to anticipate.  I also enjoy the events more when we have been better at daily loving.

Last week I mentioned in a post that Zach and I talk at the beginning of the week and ask each other what we can do to show love that week.  It is a great feeling to know that you are willingly meeting their needs and they recognize it as well.  Try it.  Ask your spouse what you can do to show love.

I love this quote by Elder Christofferson. I found it HERE.  It sums up my thoughts and is something to ponder, as today is the first day of LOVE MONTH.

"Experience teaches that in a marriage, for example, a steady stream of simple kindnesses, help, and attention do much more to keep love alive and nurture the relationship than an occasional grand or expensive gesture. That is not to say, brethren—you who are married—that your wife wouldn’t appreciate something new and really nice to wear or occasionally some other gift that expresses, with an exclamation point, how you feel about her (within the parameters, of course, of your miserable budget). It’s just that a constant, daily expression of affection, in both words and actions, is far more meaningful in the long run."

Small and simple things matter.  You matter.  The daily, matters.  

Make today a great day.

Becca :)

Daily Bread

The CES Fireside by Elder Christofferson was a wonderful talk. I printed it, read it, reference it and watched it twice. It is called "Give us this Day Our Daily Bread". You can read it or watch it from THIS link.

Here is just one of the many quotes I loved.

"Thinking of our daily bread keeps us aware of the details of our lives, of the significance of the small things that occupy our days. Experience teaches that in a marriage, for example, a steady stream of simple kindnesses, help, and attention do much more to keep love alive and nurture the relationship than an occasional grand or expensive gesture. That is not to say, brethren—you who are married—that your wife wouldn’t appreciate something new and really nice to wear or occasionally some other gift that expresses, with an exclamation point, how you feel about her (within the parameters, of course, of your miserable budget). It’s just that a constant, daily expression of affection, in both words and actions, is far more meaningful in the long run"

Of course I love it when authorities and scriptures validate the philosophy of doing the daily, little things. :) The choices we make everyday shape who we become and the marriage that we will have. Keep doing those little things. They do and will make a difference. Good talk. Good talk.

When it's good. :)

This is a late Sunday post because I have something on my mind I would like to get out.

Today we went to a baby blessing for Zach's niece. Love that! While I was visiting with Zach's parents and his Aunt it came up that Zach's Aunt knows six girls, personally, that were married in the Temple and divorced within six months! ugh! That makes me so sad! -negative, I'll fix it!

We started talking about what I have been thinking about the last few days. (this blog is good for me :))

I've been thinking and analyzing: when things are going well with Zach and I and when they aren't and why that is. It's been interesting to do!

Things are good right now (as in today and this weekend. :)) and it isn't good because we don't have trials. We are happy and feel good because of the choices we are making....we choose to look out for each other and do things to help each other out. When we are doing this we are thinking less about ourselves. (problems tend to disappear when you do this)

When things aren't going so well with Zach and I, there is a lot of frustration, anger and resentment because we are worrying about what the other isn't doing for me. -selfish feelings.

In the beginning, before the world began Satan heard the Father's plan and thought, "what's in it for me? I want the glory, how is this going to benefit me?" What has that mentality brought him? A whole lot of misery! He surrounds himself with miserable things, people and spirits and does anything and everything to get others to be miserable too.

Contrast that with the Savior who said, "The glory be Thine forever". What has that mentality brought Him? Love beyond anything we can even comprehend and joy unspeakable! He spent His life serving and loving others. Yes, He suffered a great deal but who was it for? Others! Us, and Our Father in Heaven who our Savior loves more than life.

Selfishness breeds misery and destruction. Unselfishness breeds love and joy in a marriage. Zach and I are a work in progress. We are far from perfect and it is tough too because the adversary isn't going to leave us alone either. Where do you think those thoughts of, "if he really loved you he would take out the garbage without being asked" or "if she cared about you, she would make love whenever you want" and etc. etc. etc. come from???? Yeah, that miserable being that is bent on our unhappiness! You betcha! The devil and his minions!!!

What can we do to counter his tactics of deception?

1st step: recognize them and test them! The Spirit of Christ is given to every man! If the thoughts we have do not resemble the thoughts Christ would have or the things He would have us do, then they are adversarial.

2nd step: pray that we can come off conqueror. ask for help to see things as they really are.

3rd step: give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and try to understand where they are coming from.

4th step: remember that your spouse is not responsible for the way YOU respond/react or feel. You are!

5th step: love them. this is an action word! do something to show them you care!

6th step: forgive them because it is highly possible that "they know not what they do".

President Monson said, "choose your Love and love your choice". We have already chosen our Love. Now lets remember; "a successful marriage, requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person!"

Okay, you should win something for making it to the end of this post! Check out the last post and make a comment for your entrance in the giveaway! :)

History repeats itself.

It's Monday. The start of a new week. Anything you wanted to different from last week? If you don't like the way things went, then now would be a good time to do things differently.

The apple for the day is: talk to your spouse about expectations for the week. Plan out your week together. Don't forget to plan a date and time to talk -ask them if you can help them in anyway.

This was suggested in THIS article in THIS post. I hung up this list and it has been a nice reference!

Someone's got to give!

So one quote that comes to mind when I feel totally blessed is by President Eyring.

He says "give more than you take". I love that!

Marriage, we like to think is 50, 50. It really isn't. Sometimes I give a lot and sometimes I really just take a lot. You can analyze situations away, but the truth is there is no use comparing. Life is hard sometimes and you really need each other to do the best you can.

If we lived by President Eyring's advice to give more than we take then I think we would all try a little harder to help our spouse out in any and every way possible.

The Apple for the day: Look around, think about the many things your spouse does for you and what you can do to give back.

Remember, love is like jam, you can't spread it without getting some on yourself!

What does your spouse do for you? Tell us!

advice from the Albanian!

I have a little brother Matt who is serving his mission in Albania. I asked him about the challenges they face there.

"Probably the biggest challenges for marriages here in Albania is two things that I can think of.

1: The lack of common goals with their marriage, children, family (in this life and the next) it seems like people like a variety of religions here and don't feel its best to be unified as a family but rather to have two different religions in the family and let the kids decide which one they want. That also means scattered goals and lack of unification.

2: The lack of time spent with one's spouse and family. In this culture a couple will own a store and one spouse will work 12 hours while the other rests and the other spouse works the other 12 hours. Hence, practically zero time to spend with both of them and the kids. Practically zero time to develop relationships and memories with their family as a whole. It hasn't been since I've been on my mission until I have realized that the center to the Plan of Salvation and to us being happy forever is independently dependant on a forever family for everyone"

The apple for the day is: Be grateful. Write in your journal, say a prayer of gratitude, write your spouse a note or talk to your spouse about the things you are grateful for in your lives. All of us have our different challenges but lets express gratitude for the blessings we have!